I dont know what this is--
all these poems i've made about you
these posts that i shouldn't post but i do;
these indescribable emotions that bubble up inside of me
I try so hard to push down;
you bring them out of me
It's hard being strong
not letting people see the weak side of me
it's also hard being vulnerable
but when im with you
I feel free
I feel bare
and i want more
i want you
youll probably never see this
ill never let you
you frustrate me so much
with all your little jokes
That make me want to laugh and hit you at the same time
in which i do
You're always putting me on the inside of the road
With you on the out
and you know how much it pisses me off
Because you know i can take care of myself
you take care of me anyways
The way you hold me
The way you listen and remember and ask
How you put your hand on my thigh when youre driving
How you look at me
The fucking words that come out of your mouth
that are cemented into my soul
And when you're not touching me
i want to touch you
and I don't just mean in a sexual way
that's what scares me most of all
It's not that you only intrigue me anymore
It's that i see you, all the good and all the unknown
and i want to embrace it with open arms
i want to see you when the sun is out
not just when the stars are
I want to go places with you
Discover even more about you than i did before
I want to see your smile
Hear your laugh
Keep trying to figure out what the green in your eyes mean
And all this is scary
You can't know these things
I wish you could
I really do
But i want you so fucking happy
not only when you're by yourself either
Because i see you and i see good
A good soul that deserves more than a lonely home
or me--
a broken one
ive tried being with other guys
and i cant because im thinking of you
if it might hurt you
but you said you dont care what i do so i try to keep that in mind
and then you go and make one of your sassy ass comments
to go hang out with that military guy
you like it rough im sure he could assist you
I wanted you to
we cant have each other i know
and god, can i hear you now
i'll break your heart
which makes me think,
please break it because i dont feel much
when im not running off a caffeine high
except when im with you
"I don't want you to go."
I begged you not to go and I begged you to stay.
"We all have to do what we don't want to, that's what being an adult is," you said.
and then you added, "maybe in another lifetime but ill miss you."
Why not now?
and ew ew ew i hate this
these feelings i cant describe
these feelings i cant tell anyone
but god when im with you
when im with you it feels so right
is that wrong of me to say?
when you kissed me that night and i saw the look in your eyes
the regret you said you didn't have
I knew id keep it all a secret because im falling for you--
I like you--
I have so much care for you in my heart
that i dont want to be more trouble than what im worth
but sometimes i wonder,
do i fight for you
do I tell you to pick me
not her
something ill never do
am i even worth it
you'd say no
So ill save myself the pain
and you the trouble
but I want you to know that you're with it
you already knew that though
Youre right when you said i shouldn't be able to make you feel this way
but i did
Now im gone
I promise i wont return
vale
