In a Perfect World

I H A T E D H I M, H A T E D H E R , A N D T H E N H A T E D M Y S E LF

At first, I stopped eating

because I wanted to be like her

skinny and beautiful

but I was not her;

I was not skinny

and I was not her kind of beautiful;

my curves were much more curvaceous

and my face was fuller,

and that is what triggered my insecurities

that is what triggered my lack of eating

my lack of self worth—

them,

but it was me

that allowed it to manifest