alice in borderland 𑁍 one shots

Trust me again // Hatter - Takeru Danma

TW : angst/mentions of cheating

The beach had been your home since the beginning.

At first, you loved it, you and your husband built the place that helped people keep at least a tiny bit of sanity. But over the months, things just kept getting worse. More and more of your friends died and you had to leave them behind. You had to hide your feelings, mostly, and it was eating you inside.

That's why when newcomers arrived, you couldn't help but feel pity for them. Everyone around you had changed. Takeru the most. He seemed fake now. He used to be such a happy man, always telling stories and making you laugh. But now... now you felt like you couldn't even get a genuine smile from him. The thing is, you still helped him out. You couldn't help but be there for the man you loved. You did this because of your feelings for him and kept your role as the beach's second leader although the voice in your head screamed that you had to leave.

You didn't listen. You pretended not to care about the people around you. That's why you were still around Takeru. You heard rumors about him cheating on you, rumors that you sadly witnessed and could confirm. And to this day you still couldn't find the strength to confront him. Every night you went to bed next to him and let the tears run down your cheeks silently.

One night, though, you felt like you were partially suffocating while vainly trying to hide your tears, burying your head in your pillow. You coughed, loudly, making too much noise. Hearing you, Takeru woke up. He turned to you while you kept looking away, hiding your face as much as you could.

━ Hey, Y/N... What's going on ?, he asked, seemingly worried for you
You collected yourself or at least tried to - breathing calmly and slowly before responding. You felt a bit taken aback by the tone of his voice. It's been a while since he's been so gentle with you. You felt his hand on your back, slightly stroking you. He called your name once again, whispering tenderly. You didn't know whether he was being honest or not. It did feel like he was, but once again, it had been weeks since he had given you any attention.

Between tears, you tried to admit that you saw him with another woman, two other women to be fair. But you just couldn't.
━ It's... it's just.. no... nothing. Go.. go back to sleep, I'll be okay...
And with those words, you laid on your side again, facing the door, as you didn't want to look at him.

But he wasn't ready to give up, at this moment, some part of you hoped that he did still care about you.

━ Please honey, tell me what's wrong..., He paused for a second before adding ; I don't like to see you cry.

You snorted with laughter inside of your mind. It was so frustrating. How could he say that ? You wanted to scream that you've been crying for at least two weeks. every. single. night. since. that. day.
The touch of his hand on your back became more insistent, as you didn't reply anything. But you couldn't keep hiding anymore, you couldn't lie to him the same way he was lying to you. Assembling all the mental and physical strength you had left, you turned to him. You were now facing him, halfway up, your elbow on the pillow.

━ Do you seriously think I'm that stupid, Danma ?
━ Stupid ? He looked surprised. He continued, saying : Of course not ! Why would I think that ?
━ I know what you do behind my back, with all these other women. You're not even trying to hide it from the other people, nor from me. How could you even expect me to feel okay ?

For a second, you saw the fear through his eyes. Truth is, he absolutely didn't want to lose you.

━L-Listen.. Y/N..
He had lost all his self-control now, and was almost shaking.
━I-I...I didn't mean t-to...

That was the last straw, you couldn't take it anymore. He didn't mean it? But he did it again and again without feeling the slightest bit of regret ?
━You didn't mean to ? OH no for sure you didn't mean to. This has being going on and on, Danma, we're not talking about one night, but many, many nights.
You tried to stayed as cold as possible. But the emotions got the best of you. You didn't want him to see you cry again, so, before he could even reply, you cut him off directly.

━I don't care, Danma. The point here is that you still did it, and you lied to me. You still are.
You quickly got up from the bed, and grabbed the first bathrobe you saw, that on top of an armchair. Sadly, it was his, but right now, you didn't even care, you just wanted to get away. As far as you could.

Before you opened the door to get out, you heard him say
━Wait, Y/N. Please... I feel terrible.. I'm really, really sorry.
You turned to him, and mouthed what you thought were your last words before an eventual break up.
━I'm leaving, don't try to stop me. If you try, I'll just let myself die in the next game anyways.
You stated, knowing Takeru would never want that to happen to you.

He began to cry as well, muttering useless apologies and empty promises as you left. You eventually made it outside and were finally able to breathe fresh air, which was helping you calm yourself.

Of course, as you might have expected, a couple minutes later, your husband was right behind you. You could hear him slowly walking towards you before kneeling right beside you as he started to softly brush your hair with his hand. You slightly moved to the right so that he couldn't touch you anymore. He sighed.

━What do you want, now ? you asked angrily.
━Just listen to what I have to say.. please. He said. You could hear in his voice that he had cried.
━Listen to what ? you said, starting to scream again. Listen to how you humiliated me ? How everybody in this f-cking place knows about you going here and there with other girls ? You slept with them and you can't make that go away.
━I know... I know I messed up and I know I hurt you, a lot.

You weren't actually convinced that he would have understood you so quickly, but as delusional as he could be, he was still a person capable of empathy.
He added,
━I caused that, I'm the one to blame, but please, believe me when I say that I deeply regret it.

Tears started to form in your eyes once again. You didn't want to lose him but you sure weren't ready to forgive him. You looked at him in the eyes, not saying anything.
At the moment Takeru saw the look in your eyes, he really realized, he was still madly in love with you.
He leaned a little closer to you and you didn't move, your eyes still locked on him.
Takeru knew that he had always cared for Y/N, that he was fond of her, but it wasn't until that moment, seeing how much it hurted you to see him with other women, that he realized he belonged with you.

No matter the time he spent with other people, at this moment he knew it was you, the one he was in love with. He wasn't sure, though, if now it might be too late. Had he lost you forever?
━Y/N, I want you, only you. I promise.
━How can I be sure that you're being honest with me ? you whispered, your lips dangerously close to his.
━Darling, I need you to trust me again, just one last time. I won't mess up, I swear.
He reassured you calmly, and placed his hand under your chin.

Before you could start talking again, he kissed you. You couldn't resist him, nor do anything but to reciprocate, you placed your hand around his neck, your mouths intertwining.
After a few seconds, you pulled away, with mixed feelings of love, sadness and guilt.

His gaze was soft. But you both knew the relationship wouldn't ever be the same again.
━I want to trust you, but right now, I can't. I can't forget what you did. You have to earn my trust again, but I'm ready to work this out, you told him

He grazed your cheek, carefully listening to what you were saying.
━If I could take it all back, trust me, I would. I don't deserve you, nor do I deserve the fact that you're forgiving me despite all the fucked up things I've done.

You sighed softly
━I love you, forever and ever.