deep love | 1

nick or joe?

J's pov 

I can't enjoy the party at all. There are at least 50 guests, but I still feel lonely and hopeless without anyone to tell my secret to.

Joe realises that I'm not my usual, bubbly self, and he pulls me aside into his bedroom. He locks the door shut and then turns to face me. "Babe, just tell me." He starts pacing. "I don't know what's bothering you, but I do know you're upset."

I clench my teeth. Nick or Joe? If I tell Joe what happened, his relationship with Nick is probably ruined- by me. But if I keep this secret from him, I will never be able to look at him the same way again, knowing that his brother nearly made out with me.

That's when I realise- it's not a choice between Nick or Joe. It's between Joe... And only Joe.

It's my choice whether I'm going to keep him worried, or tell him and possibly break his heart.

I keep my head to the floor and gaze out the window. Suddenly, his arms surround me and I feel my bottom lip trembling as I try not to cry.

"Babe, just tell me. Please." His voice is filled with anxiety. He breaks the hug so he can look me in the eyes.

Outside the closed door, I can hear the other guests singing along to the song that's blasting from one of their phones. I wonder what Nick's doing. He should be guilty.

I realise I've been zoning out, and quickly pull myself back into reality. Joe is slumped on the bed, still waiting patiently for my response. "T-This is about N-nick." I manage to stutter.

He raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything. I continue, my heart is racing inside my chest. Joe tilts my face so I'm looking him square in the eyes. His eyes don't have their gentle, soothing gaze anymore. They're demanding now. "Tell me." He says. 

"J-just now Nick .. uh..." my mouth fumbles to find the right words "kissed me" I manage to say. I see the instant Joe's eyes harden, but he doesn't say a word. I can tell how angry he is. Stop telling him. Just say it was a joke. Nothing more. My brain is telling my mouth to stop moving, but for some reason it doesn't seem to be working. More words spill out of my mouth. "And he wanted to..." I don't finish my sentence, but Joe knows what happened. 

I've never seen him this angry before. "That's basically cheating" he growls at me, and then it hits me- he thinks I  wanted to make out with Nick. "No!" I say. It comes out harsher than I expected. "It's- it's not like that. I couldn't do anything about it-" Joe doesn't even listen. I see the pain in his eyes, and without saying another word, he throws the door open and walks out. 

I sit down on the bed, my eyes are brimming with tears but I don't let them fall. It's not like he cares. He didn't even listen. Slowly, I get off the bed and make my way to the living room, expecting Joe to be there, talking to Nick. But he's gone.