deep love | 1

trying

J's pov

Joe's more or less back to his usual self. Everything's great between the Jonas family, and the boys have even started writing some music together. It's perfect... or so I thought.

"C'mon, let's go! I'm soo tired" I whine. We're at Joe's favourite ice cream shop. "One more scoop... Please?" He asks. I roll my eyes. "... it's your third one" I remind him. It's a miracle he's this fit even after eating so much junk. "Wait for me in the car, kay?" Without waiting for an answer, joe rushes to the counter and orders another scoop of raspberry sorbet. The girl at the counter smiles sympathetically at me, and I laugh, making my way outside to wait for Joe.

A few minutes later, he comes out of the shop, happily licking his cone. What a 5-year-old. We get into the car, and I drive us back to my house since he's staying the night, while Joe tries is best not to get the sorbet over the seats.

When we're home, I'm about to unlock the front door when Joe says, "I have something to show you!" I follow him to my backyard...

There are fairy lights all over the place, and roses scattered on the ground. I turn around, confused, to look at Joe. He pulls a small ring out of a box...

I gasp. Joe smiles nervously at me. " I love you so much... So I got you this ring just to remind you how much you mean to me. A promise ring, actually. I know you're already my girlfriend, but... I want to make it official. I love you." He looks so happy, the orange glow from the fairy lights reflecting off his skin as he gazes questioningly into my eyes.

He reaches for my hand to slip the ring on. I'm at a loss for words, though. Flashbacks start running through my mind. What if he's overprotective? What if something bad happens? I can't back out of our relationship after I have the promise ring. I know I shouldn't be thinking about this since I've already forgiven him. But a small part of me just keeps thinking... What if he hurts me again?

Joe seems my hesitation, it's like he can read my mind. He puts the ring in his pocket and I can see the hurt and sadness in his eyes. "Joe, i-"

"No. I get it." He says, taking my hand. "It's okay" he tries to assure me, but I feel a tear slide down my cheeks. "I don't deserve you. Nick's right." He whispers. "And I understand if you don't want to be my girlfriend... after what happened on the cliff. I get it, I really do. We should just be friends. It's safer for you. I was dumb to get the promise ring."

I feel my heart drop. "No, please, I do want to be your girlfriend, I just need more time to... process everything." 

"It's been more than two months," Joe says. "I know you said you've forgiven me, and I believe you. You can forgive, but I know it's hard to forget. Please, trust me. I don't want to hurt you anymore." I feel my whole body collapse onto the grass. 

Joe leans over and helps me up, going into the house with me and laying me down on my bed. "I'll pack my stuff and go. You can rest. I'm sorry..." 

And then he's gone, before I can say anything.