deep love | 1

there for you

J's pov

In the car, we don't bother talking. I'm still shocked by what happened. I want to forgive Joe so badly, seeing him like that broke my heart. But I can't help myself from thinking... "What if this happens again?" 

I go back to my house and pack my stuff. I can't spend the night alone. Kevin has his own family, so I follow Nick back to his house. We order pizza and spend the night watching shows on the TV. I'm trying to get the day's events out of my mind. I absently rest my head on Nick's shoulder, out of habit. He flinches at the touch, and I sigh sadly when I realise it's not Joe. I forgot. Nick's mouth droops just a tiny bit, and he pulls me close to him. He rocks me back and forth for a while, and I can feel my self drifting off to sleep, the sadness eating me alive and tiring me out. 

The next morning, I find myself on Nick's bed. At that moment, he comes quietly into the room, grimacing as he sees me awake. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you. You can go back to bed" I smile. He's too kind. It's strange to think that less than 24 hours, we were both enemies, and now I was lying on his bed, escaping having to face Joe. "Nah, it's fine. I was already awake" I say. 

He smiles and disappears for a moment, before returning with a plate of food. "I made you breakfast..." He says, almost sheepishly.  My heart clenches, if it's possible. I get up and hug him, taking in the scent of his cologne. Maybe it's the hormones, I don't know. I start to cry. "I-I miss Joe but I don't know if he's going to hurt me and I-" I gasp between sobs. "I- don't deserve you either" Nick stands there, shocked for a moment. I can't blame him, it's 7:30 in the morning and he's already dealing with a girl who's sobbing her eyes out. 

He doesn't know what to say, so he just hugs me and then takes out his phone. 

"Hello? Dani?" A smile of relief comes over my face as I realise who he's talking to. "Yeah, she's okay," He says, and I know Kevin told Dani about what happened yesterday. "Could you come over for a bit?" He asks. "I have a sobbing girl on my hands and I might need some.. uh... assistance" He jokes. I gently punch him, laughing as I feel my tears drying up a bit. "Okay, yeah. Bye... see you soon"

"I don't know what I'd do without you or Kevin, or Dani." I murmur, leaning into his chest. The weird thing is, both of us know there isn't anything romantic between us. It's just a friend helping another friend... to protect her against her own boyfriend. I shudder at the thought. Nick rubs my back. "We're here for you... anytime, just call us." 

I end up packing my things and spending the whole two weeks skipping from Nick to Kevin's house. I couldn't stand being in the empty house by myself, left with Joe's stuff that he hadn't collected. 

2 months pass 

No one's really forgotten about the incident with Joe, but no one talks about it either. It's not that we're scared to mention it to each other... we just don't know what to do. It's weird, not seeing Joe for over 3 months. Are we still boyfriend and girlfriend? Friends? We haven't bothered contacting each other, except for the short texts from him to the Jonas family group chat, updating his parents and siblings on his whereabouts at times.