deep love | 1

confessions

J's pov

It's nearly 1 am by the time I reach home. I have no idea where Joe is. He just walked out on me like that.

I was supposed to spend the night at Joe's before heading back to my own apartment. But after what happened, I decided to go back home. I don't think I could have stayed there any longer.

I lie down on my mattress, and I realise how empty it is without Joe. My heart aches. It's not the fact that he's not here with me that makes me feel so lonely- it's just that I know I might not see him again. Who knows? 

I can feel my eyelids drooping... 

A few days pass. You would expect me to be a sobbing mess every single day- but that's just not my style. I don't get any texts from Joe at all. Zero. Nada, as he liked to say. I try to be as normal as possible, but it doesn't mean I don't hope that he'll call. I'm just- confused. If he thought I was the one who cheated on him, then wouldn't he call to break up with me? 

I'm lying in bed. It's a Saturday night, and usually, I'd be at Joe's place for the weekends. Not this week, though. I feel a wave of sadness rush over me, so I force myself to close my eyes. As I feel sleep taking over my body, I find myself wondering if Joe is missing me. 

I wake when I hear a knock at my door. I glance at the clock. 8 am. Time passes by fast when you're sleeping, I mumble to myself, repeating something Joe always told me when I couldn't get out of bed. Who would bother coming to my house this early? Not joe, that's for sure. 

I peep through the peephole in my door and I'm startled to see Nick standing there. I struggle to keep my breathing even. Why the heck is the guy who tried to make out with his brother's girlfriend yesterday here? But I can't just leave him standing there in the cold, so I reluctantly open the door.

He blushes when he sees me.
He's obviously embarrassed about what happened last night because he doesn't meet my gaze. 

"Hey, so I, uh, wanted to apologise for what happened yesterday. I- I really don't know what got a hold of me but uh, maybe we can still be friends. I don't know about you, but uh I'd like to be friends again, so-" He realises he's rambling, and he blushes scarlet. Lowkey kinda cute. 

When I don't say anything for a while, he probably thinks he's messed up big time because he whispers something that sounds like "sorry" and starts to walk towards the front door. "Wait. Nick." I call. He turns back, surprised. I have no idea what makes me do it- maybe I'm just tired of everything that happened with Joe- I don't want more drama. I just shrug my shoulders and say, "Yeah, we're friends." 

He's surprised, but he turns back towards me and a small smile plays at his lips. He would never admit it, but I know he's grateful. He keeps his distance but opens his arms up for a hug. I laugh. "Nick, you know you don't have to stand a meter away from me to give me a hug, right?" He raises an eyebrow. "I'm just... keeping it casual." I just laugh harder. Boys. 

To Nick's credit, he does come close enough for a hug. He squeezes me tight, and for some reason, I can feel tears pricking at the back of my eyes. Damn, these Jonas boys always make me cry. I realise I've said that out loud because Nick pulls back so he can see if I'm really crying. 

Tears have started rolling down my face. Nick has no idea what to do, so he just wipes my tears with his hoodie sleeve. He brings me to sit down on the couch, and that's when I tell him everything- Joe leaving me without a word, how I'm worried that he'll never speak to me again. 

When I'm done, Nick is staring at me in shock. "He- he thinks it's your fault? I thought he knew it was me!" He looks so guilty that it nearly breaks my heart in two. "Have you tried calling him?" He asks. "Every day. He didn't pick up." Nick's face falls as he picks up his phone. Soon, he's calling Joe. We're both holding our breaths. 

I almost want to scream into the phone when I hear Joe's voice. He sounds so tired- I wonder if he's slept for the past few days. But I don't, I know he'll put down once he hears my voice. "What's up?" He asks Nick. "Promise me you won't hang up on me, whatever I'm about to say," Nick warns, and I can almost imagine Joe raising an eyebrow. "Yeah, what is it?" He asks. 

"You think your girlfriend cheated on you?" Nick asks. Joe doesn't hang up, but I know he's pissed. "I don't think, Nick. I know. She made out with you, didn't she?" He snaps. Nick swallows. "I called you to tell you that it's not her fault. I kissed her. She pushed away but didn't tell you right away because she wanted you to enjoy the party." Joe sighs. "Nick, please. Don't even bother trying to cover up for her, alright? And I'm sorry that she kissed you." 

Beep. 

I don't know what to say. Joe just hung up on Nick. If he won't even listen to his own brother, he won't listen to me. He thinks Nick is lying. I know Nick expects me to get angry, after all, it's his fault. 

I know Nick is expecting me to get mad at him, but I don't. I'm just over being mad. All i want is to get Joe to believe us. I turn to Nick, and he flinches. "I'm not mad," I assure him. "Any plans to get Joe back?"