You the Best, Yo (COMPLETED)

Chapter 34

Amarie:

“Chris told me that Dre was back.” I told Mel. We snuggled under a blanket on me and Chris’ couch. It was late and the boys had some important runs to make. Why would Dre just come back, especially around the time of my release date. Shit didn’t seem right. Mel flipped through the channels.

“I know, that is why Ty sent me over here. He said it wasn’t safe for us to be alone even though Wiz had some people watching over both houses.” Mel said. I adjusted my beanie on my head. I looked at the time on the cable box, it read 10:47pm. I just wanted Chris to come home. He’s been out for almost 2 hours now. I couldn’t stop thinking about the possibilities of Dre plotting some shit. Chris said we all would be fine this time and he had everything under control but I was still worried. “So are you going to try and look for another job?” Mel asked.

“It’s going to be hard with a record.” I said speaking under my breathe. She looked at me and I continued to look straight ahead of me, avoiding eye contact. She let out a silent sigh. “We are here to help you, anything you need. You know that right?” I continued to look forward. I felt like a failure.

“This isn’t what my mother would have wanted.” I said coldly, fighting back tears. My mother was probably ashamed of me. I know she didn’t want this life for me and I continued to disappoint her. I wanted to blame it on what had happened but that was no excuse. It was my fault, I was the fuck up. “If she was still alive she probably wouldn’t even claim me as her daughter.” I said.

“Don’t say that Amarie. You know your mom would know that you are trying your best to survive. Don’t think like that.” Mel said sympathetically.

“I’m just like him.” I said. She gave me her full attention, fully aware of who I was referring to.

“You are not a monster, your father was a monster. NEVER compare yourself to him. YOU HEAR ME!” She demanded. I just stood still. No matter who it was or what they said, at this point it didn’t matter. I was a fuck up and though I didn’t do nearly as much damage as my father did, I had similarities. Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw him. I saw him grinning at me, that evil grin. His face deranged and high off of crack. I couldn’t barely look in the mirror. I didn’t want to see him. “You hear me?” Mel yelled.

“Whatever.” I muttered. Mel looked at me with worry in her eyes.

“I think you need to talk to someone about this. You can’t hold this in forever.” Mel said. I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t need fucking counseling Mel.” I spat at her.

“I’m not saying you need counseling but you need to talk to someone about it. Maybe Chris, Hefa, or even Mama J. I know ya’ll become real close.” Mel suggested.

“I’ll think about it.” I muttered. I didn’t want to talk about my past. Why relive such a horrible moment. I heard the front door open and me and Mel looked over to see the boys plus Sean, and Mijo followed behind them. They all looked tired. Chris walked over to me. He kneeled between my legs and laid his head on my chest. I rubbed the top of his head. He had a fresh cut and his hair was back. I rubbed the top of his head. “You okay?” I asked him. I looked over to see Tyga laying in Mel’s lap. We both shook our head.

“Long day.” Was all Chris said. He looked up at me and his eyes were blood shot red.

“Are you high?” I asked confused. He put a big smile on his face. Yeah he was high as shit.

“No.” He said laughing. I shook my head and pushed him off of me. He wrapped his arms around my waist so that I couldn’t push him off of me. I looked onto his blood shot eyes and he was still grinning. I looked over at Ty and I could tell he was high but not nearly as high as Chris.