How To Love ✓

11.

Amara

I closed the door behind me and checked the time on my watch.

7:45pm. Early enough to take a warm shower. Not even bothering to put on the room light, I headed straight for the bathroom, with the moonlight flowing in the space through the window. I started the shower, letting it run until it had gotten lukewarm. In the meantime, I stripped to my naked form and adjusted my tubes so it wouldn't get wet.

I placed a foot under the water and nodded in satisfaction. I sigh as soon as the warm water hit my pores and leaned against the tiled wall in thought.

I didn't even realise the tears that started to cascade down my cheeks.

I cried for home, I cried for my loved ones, I cried for myself.

Having to acknowledge that I could go to sleep any night and not wake up the next morning was terrifying. That my lungs could give out anytime. As much as I put on this tough act and say that I don't care if I die because it will relieve me of my misery and loneliness and also other's misery, I know that I fear to see that day.

I knew that I was selfish because in certain situations, I put my feelings over others. But sometimes their feelings are more important than mine.

I sighed and pulled myself out of my train of thoughts. I took my time, enjoying the water a bit, and washed my hair. After finishing, I wrapped my hair in a messy bun and soaped my body in a foamy lather, rinsing throughout. Once I was finished, I cut off the water, wrapped the towel around me and walked into the room.

Oh, what a shock I was about to encounter.

I switched the light on in an instant relaxed mood until I turned around and saw the chocolate haired boy sprawled across Sylvia's bed, hands behind his head, grinning at me.

"How did you get in here?" I screeched loudly, accidentally knocking over Sylvia's coat hanger.

Before I could've noticed, the towel that covered my body started to loosen as I tried steading myself and holding onto the oxygen tank.

"Shit," I cursed under my breath as I realised that if I didn't act now, the towel would be at my ankles.

"Here let me help you," Lucien offered, jumping up and over to me before he got flashed. My face reddened as his fingers grazed my skin, tightening the soft fabric around my chest area and tucking it under my left arm.

"There," he said, smiling. "Also, you left the door open."

"Was that an invitation for you to just waltz into our room whenever you wanted to?" I rolled my eyes at him to hide the embarrassment and tried fixing the coat hanger without bending over.

"Well, you should stop leaving the door unlocked. That way you won't have to see me as often," his smile turned into a smirk, biting his bottom lip.

"Also, to keep other intruders from entering, especially when you're like this," he added, indicating my state with his finger.

"Fine," I saw his point. Though I wonder if any other person would actually do that here.

"But could you just, wait in the hallway while I get dressed? I really don't want Sylvia walking in on us with me half naked. We already couldn't get anything past her the morning she met us sleeping together," I bit my lip, looking at him with a heavy conscious.

He only nodded and left the room for me to change. I shook my head and grabbed a large tee, a pair of shorts and some underwear, throwing it over me. I wrapped the towel around my hair to dry and walked over to the door. As I go to reach for the door handle, he opened the door and walked in again.