How To Love ✓

41.

Amara

The final week of school approached. I made up my mind to collect my grades in person instead of online. Though, I was keener on seeing Lucien than collecting a piece of paper.

I really wished that he was still on campus. Since it was Christmas break, students left to spend the holidays with their families. I hoped to have caught him before he left.

I was also glad that not many students were on campus, so I didn't have to deal with all the stares and whispers. Though, a few that were still greeted me and asked me if I was alright.

My breaths became shaky, and my heart pounded swiftly as I walked through the hallway towards the dorm, my boots clicking extremely loud.

As I went to bend the corner, a familiar face stepped in front of me, almost bumping into me.

"Sorry I didn't see you there," she mumbled under her breath, adjusting the sleeves of her blazer.

I half-smiled and cleared my throat. "Not your fault we happened to cross the same hallway at the same time Lina."

She only nodded, averting her gaze to the suitcase that sat next to her.

I broke the silence. "Well, I hope you have a great Christmas break and all the best for the New Year," I shot her another half-smile and go to walk off, when she stopped me by faintly calling my name.

I whipped myself around, crossing my hands in front of me.

"I just wanted to say... that I'm sorry, for everything I put you through," she apologised and for the first time her words seemed sincere, like she actually cared for someone who wasn't herself.

When she noticed that I didn't give her a response, she continued, "Lucien really cares about you and I get it now. I've never seen him care so much for someone other than himself. I don't know... I guess I was just jealous."

"But why would you be jealous of me? I did nothing to you nor everyone who judges me for no reason," I spoke calmly, not wanting to make a scene.

She flared her hands around. "It's just.... I've known Lucien since we were little children. We met through our parents, and I was like family to him and his mum. I'm sure he told you that he ran away when he was a teenager, but when he did, I was completely devastated. I would call his mum every day, asking her if he came home and when she responded with a "no" I would cry myself to sleep. I was in love with him, ever since we were little. Well at first, I thought it was puppy love but as we got older, it just ... started to grow and I got fonder of him. But he only saw me as a friend which made me change for him in hopes that he would find interest in me.

So, I changed my look, I started wearing more revealing clothing, talked and walked and acted differently, just for him to notice me. When he did, it was not the way I expected him to. We dated for about a month or two and I realised he only dated me to satisfy me, knowing that I got what I wanted. Now we are both in the same college so I'm thinking... maybe he's the one that would change for me.

But now seeing him choose you over me made me furious, knowing that I did so much for him and it's like all my hard work went down the drain."

I found myself feeling sympathetic for this girl in front of me. She only put up this tough act to conceal the fact that she was as broken and fragile as any one of us here, but she was too naive to show it.

Without realising, I placed a hand on her shoulder, instantly shocking her.

"Natalina, you should NEVER have to feel like you have to change for someone other than yourself because if you do then that person is not for you. Forcing to make something work isn't going to make you feel good about yourself. You should also understand how he feels as well. I'm sure Lucien does care for you, but you just have to accept where he wants you to be in his life," I explained sympathetically.

She smiled, wiping a single tear that dropped from her right eye. It was the first time I saw her smile, and, in all honesty, it suited her.

"I know and that's why I wanted to apologise," she responded, placing her hand over mine and gently shook it.

"Apology accepted," I say and let my hand fall to my side. "There are a billion fishes in the sea and one day one of those lucky fish would be gifted with a rare catch like you. Always remember that you are a queen and therefore you should not feel the need to let someone take off that crown off of your head."

"You are a gem Amara, thank you for being so nice to me, even after all that I've put you through. How about we get together perhaps in January, when classes resume?" she asked, hoping with bright eyes that I'll accept.

And I did, making her jump to hug me. I nearly lost my balance but when I regained it, I pulled her in closely.

Just then, I heard a door open from behind where we stood. We both looked over to see who was watching us.

It was Lucien. I mentally squealed. Natalina cleared her throat and looked to me, smiling again. 

"Go get your man," she winked.

We bid each other goodbye. As I turned to watch her walk off, pulling the suitcase behind her, the hairs at the back of my neck rose.

I slowly turned around and nearly gasped as I realised how close Lucien stood in front of me. I bit my bottom lip as my eyes examined his attire from top to bottom. A black cable knit crew neck sweater hugged the muscular chest I love running my hands over, denim jeans and boots and a wool jacket.

When my eyes rested upon his, I wanted to get lost in his gorgeous green eyes. I just got this specific feeling... every time I was around him. It was like when our eyes connect, our souls tangle, our hearts intertwine, trying to reach deeper and deeper into the meaning of our story.

I was so enamored with his beauty, that it was hard for me to stop relishing in the idea that this human being in front of me was close to perfection for me.

It was similar to being so enthralled with pleasure, attractiveness, and fulfilment that it immobilised you or made you want to keep finding out more about that stunning individual. They were even more beautiful in every way, and you couldn't help but want to learn more delightful details about them.

"Want to go for a drive?" he asked, his voice thicker and raspier than ever. I melted at the sound. I close my eyes for a moment and hummed to myself.

I nodded as a response and adjusted the fluffy jacket that lapsed across my body.

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