Itsy Bitsy Spider

28. Ready As I'll Ever Be

Machi glared at Hisoka. "Why are you here?" she finally questioned, on the replacement airship they'd gotten on short notice.

Hisoka flicked through his card deck, barely masking his smug air. "My target is the boss," he offered, and left them hanging on that single vague piece of information, toying with her.

"Right." She looked to Lucky, eyes narrowing at the awkward half-smile he sent her as apology. The one with the destructive Nen. Such a person would only cause them misfortune, though perhaps that was why Hisoka had brought him along. Any misfortune to them would be an advantage to him as the traitor.

Still, she asked: "And why is he here?"

It was a question to Hisoka, but the dark-haired one spoke up instead, addressing them all.

"First of all, if the ship crashes and we all die, I apologize in advance—"

* * *

For now, everything seemed to be flowing without hiccups. The ships had taken off, and his friends were safe in the other airship, though now Hisoka was with them. The leader of the Spiders was still in his hands. Leorio would be healed soon. The exchange could take place smoothly. With the extra restriction he'd placed on the leader of the Spiders, he would never be able to interact with any member of the Phantom Troupe again. Unable to meet with their leader, they would be crushed. Everything was ideal and in his favor.

But.

But was this right? Would this truly crush the Spiders? Was this really the answer? Could this finally be the end to their reign?

And more importantly, the most difficult question to ask: where did his actions as of late lie with himself?

Kurapika was not proud of what he'd done, no matter how much he didn't want to admit it. He wanted to feel accomplished, he should have felt accomplished. But even after successfully killing a Spider, after kidnapping their leader, after everything was going his way, he still felt empty. He'd been so successful in everything he'd done. He'd planned ahead, and pulled through, steadily rising as a soon-to-be victor. Why wasn't he satisfied? This had been his goal since five years ago. Since the Kurta massacre.

Perhaps it was because he'd stooped to murder. To murder and kidnapping and torture. Perhaps his steps toward revenge were conflicting with the values of his clan, and his own morals. Being truly honest with himself, some of what he'd done sickened him. As if he was turning into something far worse than what he sought to destroy.

It takes a monster to kill a monster.

Those words weren't foreign to Kurapika. In fact, as September had crept closer upon him, and with that along with the Spiders, he'd thought more about that simple phrase than he'd ever had before. Were those words true, even if they were, what did they mean? Was it bad? Was being a monster truly bad if it was for the greater good? Was he a monster at all?

Philosophy was a fickle thing, with no right answer. The answer would always be within himself, the hardest place to look.

If he was...

But no, that was impossible. The Spiders were the monsters. His actions were simply rightful revenge that would have been bestowed upon them for their crimes either way. Yes, he had a larger, more important task at hand. He could set his troubled feelings aside, for them. In the end, always for them.