This story is overall good, and I am hoping to see the marauders and a bit of Lily and Snape.
The Bad:
1: The cover. It's amazing, I like the pictures, but of course - the font looks unprofessional.
2: The blurb. It was quite - how do I put it - informal. I know you are not a real author, but this doesn't sound good. Make it a bit more professional looking.
3: Punctuation marks. Things like coma and full stop need to be a part of your story.
4: Also, don't do this: " You mean you stole it " do this: 'You mean you stole it.'
5: The characters. The characters sound nice, but Harry isn't Harry and Ginny isn't Ginny. Maybe re-read the book to get a better idea of how they'll act in your fan-fiction.
The Good:
1: Plot. I like the whole visiting the future thing. I really like it.
2: Encounters. The encounters with Minerva and the clueless-ness of the characters about Dumbledore's death....... *sobs*
3: MORE HARRY POTTER FAN FICTION TO READ
4: The marauders. Need I say more?
5: The vocabulary of the book is amazing, just needs a bit fixing with the punctuation.
Overall I liked your book. I rate it:
7.5 out of 10.
The cover and the punctuation marks. But it can easily be a 10!
YOU ARE READING
Story Critic | Closed For Now
SonstigesHey guys! The title says it all. I can read your books for you and point out the goods and bads. Don't give up, keep writing!
