After Forever

Chapter 12

Tessa

He said goodbye, he actually said goodbye and Vance kept it from me I think to myself.

I know he isn't lieing and it makes sense. When I arrived in Seattle. Vance was different and it felt like he was keeping something from me.

"I can't believe Vance kept that from me." I say.

" I am sorry you never got it, there was so much I left unsaid that I wanted you to know that I put in the letter." He says.

"I have gone all this time thinking you left without anything, and it's a lot to process that wasn't really the case." I say.

"Why did you say you were too fucked up to write me another one?, were you drinking again?" I ask

He pauses for what feels like forever and is more fidgety then I have ever seen him. He moves off the bed and stands by the counter and sits on a stool and leans his head into his palm.

"What happened?" I finally ask.

He finally starts to speak.."when I got off the plane I wasn't ready to face my mum, so I went to a friends and dropped my stuff off and then we went to a bar we used to hangout at"

He pauses and takes a couple sips of water. "We drank a lot and this went on for a couple days. I would crash on his couch then we would go back to the bar and drink some more."

Hardin

"One night he threw a party at his apartment and his friends brought out coke. And i don't know why but with no hesitation I took a hit and another and another."

"And then that became our everyday. I was drunk and high all day. For 66 days, and the only reason I know 66 straight days is because on the last day" and he pauses again.

"Sorry this is a lot I could stop you probably don't want to know all of this" i say

She replies "it's hard to hear but I would like to know"

"Okay, this is hard for me. I know you were always disappointed in me before, but it just feels so different now and I'm still ashamed of who I was then and of all I am about to tell you." I say

"It's okay" I say. "I can tell that it's hard for you and that you care, which is different." She's says

I proceed with my story. "So this whole time I'm in London my mum didn't know I was there. But I was out of money so I was going there during the day and taking money from her, and buying drugs with it. This went on for about a week."

"I went out later in the night and was black out drunk and got into some sort of fight, which was surprisingly my first fight since I had been back. I don't remember anything but waking up handcuffed to a hospital bed" I tell her.

"My mum was there and fuming. The second I woke up she was screaming at me. So much so that the officer came in to check and see if she was okay" and she quickly stopped.

She just said she shouldn't have come.

"What happened?" I asked her reluctantly.

I remember she said "what do you think happened, Hardin?"

And I responded "I really didn't know" because I really didn't.

She said "the story I heard is you were driving your friends car got t-boned because you ran a red light but prior to that you were running from the cops after a fight at a bar"

What she said next cut me pretty hard "so your a drug addict?"

"What?" I replied surprised

"Before you woke up the doctor told me he can't give you any pain medication because your body doesn't respond due to the drug abuse." She said.

"I remember putting my head down and saying nothing" I was numb

She asked "Why didn't you tell me you were home?"

I remember not responding and she said " you have to talk to me if you want me to help you."

All I said was "I don't know."

My mom had called my dad and he found a lawyer and had him make some calls to see what I was looking at.

I remember my mom waking out of the room and talking to a guy in a suit. When she came back in he came with her.

"Hi Hardin, I'm Adler Thomas your dad called me to be your lawyer." I remember him saying.

"So what's the deal then" I nonchalantly remember saying.

"So there is a lot of good news actually. the bar and the guys you fought aren't pressing charges. However, you ran from the cops and then crashed a car while under the influence."

I remember just responding with "Okay so now what?"

"Well I made a deal with the prosecutor for now for you to go home in the care of your mother but with home monitoring until your first court date. Where if you admit to being an addict the prosecutor already agreed to rehab instead of jail time" he said.

"I remember asking both them to leave. I remember starting to feel deathly ill and realizing very quickly my withdrawal was starting to happen." I tell Tessa

"This is a lot" Tessa finally says.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have told you all this" I say.

"No,no I want you to keep going" she says

"Well I'll try to speed it up. And skip some non important details. I got released from the hospital the next day, still sick as a dog from withdrawals and the hospital had given me crutches  and a boot because I had a broken ankle from the accident and my nice ankle monitor for the other ankle, I remember thinking it was a good thing I could barely get around because it's not like I could go anywhere anyway"

"My mom tried talking to me and figuring everything out. I gave her nothing I was there 8 days before my court date and said maybe 4 words to her. I was terrible if she could have kicked me out she would have."

"For court I had to admit to being a drug addict and my mom had to take me right to rehab as part of the provision, and I had to spend 30 days there. Again shortened version here but I did the 30 days and I didn't take it seriously at all I played along at the end to get my papers signed off on but I knew I was going to go right back to drinking and getting high."