Tessa
His hands start to literally tremble and he has moved from the stool to the couch where he is hunched over with his head in his hands just shaking.
I realized I have been pretty numb this whole time and I haven't left that same spot at the end of the bed. I'm in shock at all that I have found out and to think he hasn't even told me the worst part is crazy to me. What could it be? I wonder.
I decide to go sit next to him on the couch. I grab his hands and pull them away from his face. His hands are still shaking. I hold them in mine trying to get them to stop, and I just tell him that it's okay.
He finally starts to speak again, "besides those that know what happened I have never talked about this."
I assure him again "its okay." and he has since leaned over to the other side of the couch away from my hands.
He begins telling me finally "After I wrote those notes I went into my old room, and i laid down for a little trying to make the feeling go away, but it didn't. I grabbed the bag from Marcos and I also grabbed my phone, I had your number dialed, and I quickly changed my mind when my thoughts immediately went to how pathetic I was, and so I put my phone down took the pills out unscrewed the bottle and I took them. I took them all."
"I woke up 5 days later in ICU, my mum and dad were there. I guess I couldn't even kill myself right." he says.
All i can do is cry, I just start balling my eyes out, he is super far away from me on the couch and I just pull myself over to him and wrap my arms completely around him and just cry.
He says "i'm sorry". I am surprised by this. "why are you sorry?" i ask still crying.
"this is too much, i was really messed up" he says.
"i wish i knew, and could have helped you" I say
"everything happens for a reason" he says.
He realized I wasn't stopping my crying so he tries to be positive. "Some good came of it, I went back to rehab this time for 90 days, I got every kind of therapy imaginable, and finally dealt with my PTSD from what happened to my mom, and got anger management, and I have been clean ever since. I guess almost dieing, kind of changes a person." he says.
All that keeps replaying in my head is Hardin tried to kill himself and I had no idea. and i was spending those days thinking he was enjoying his life without me with different girls and probably just had it all, and he was literally dieing.
"are you okay now?" I ask but scared for the answer.
He replies "Yes I am good now, every show is hard because the temptation is there but most people know."
"Show?" I question.
"Yea I'm touring now (mostly festivals)" He says reluctant to tell me more.
"Touring? Wow? Exciting...why does it seem like you don't want to talk about it?" I ask confused.
"Idk my life is going from city to city and playing shows till 2am, it's a different lifestyle and I'm proud of my music but it's a lot for most people" he says.
"Are you producing?" I ask.
"Yea, I DJ, produce and write." He says
"That's really great Hardin." I say
He wasn't kidding when he said it's a lot. He is a music superstar in London and I sit at a desk all day.
YOU ARE READING
After Forever
FanfictionThis book is a what happens next if Hardin would have went back to London after "getting kicked out of school". It picks up 5 years later at Landon's wedding. It is the first time Hardin and Tessa have seen each other in 5 years since he packed up a...