Just Ozzie

Chapter 10

It's been another sleepless night. But on the good side it's quiet.

Peter is still asleep in my bed. He woke up a few hours ago to throw up. I guess that's a good sign. He could be getting better soon After that he was alittle delusional. He kept muttering stuff. I had tried to get him to tell me what type of bug he ate but there was no use. I tucked him back in bed. He's been sleep ever since.

Kayla was asleep too. She never got out of bed. Every once and a while I'd hear her cough, that let me know she was alive so that's good.

Ashley was still gone. I'm still alittle pissed Ashley walked out on me and Peter like that. She didn't have to overreact. If I'm so mad, then why am I still protecting her by not telling Kayla about Peter's seizure?

I sighed at that question. It must be 3 or 4 in the morning.

I sat in a chair in my room bedside Peter's side of the bed. My feet were sitting on the nightstand letting me sit back in the chair. I fiddled with the sleeve of my hoodie while looking up at the wires on my ceiling.  Been looking at the for probably 2 hours. God I really need to take those down.

I looked away from the wires and back at sleeping Peter. His completion was getting better. Puke was still on the corners of his mouth. I leaned forward and wiped it off with my thumb.

"Mommy?" Peter murmured his eyes barely open.

"Shh, go back to sleep". I whispered. Peter's eyes closed again and he was knocked out again. I kissed him on his forehead and sat back in my chair.
"You people aren't my family, my friends, or even group members". "I owe you nothing".

Ashley's words cut deep but didn't hurt me. I just couldn't help but think she was right.

I'm here taking care of Kayla, Ashley and Peter like we're some kind of family. They don't even take care of me when I'm sick. No matter how loyal I am to them, they'll never care about me and when I do, I won't get anything out if it.

I shouldn't care about them, I don't want to care about them. Because if I do, I'm bound to get hurt in the end. I don't to repeat Rick, Hailey...or Leola. Its just better for everyone to not care, that way nobody can get hurt.

Tho, its hard not to care for people when you've been living with them for three years. They've been the closest to family since Leola.

And it's hard to not care for Peter. I watched him grow up. He's a sweet kid.

How are Ashley and Kayla so good at only caring for themselves. Well, technically not Kayla because she cares about Peter.

Ashley doesn't care, she could leave anytime she wants. Nothing is keeping her here. She doesn't need us. I'm sure she has Otis. But if she could leave, why does she stay?

Why do I stay? Actually, there's a bunch of reasons. I have no where to go. I have no idea to survive on my own. And over all, there's no purpose of my life in this world if there's nobody else who needs it. I'd just be living to die.

All this thinking is starting give me a headache. I need some fresh air.

I got up from my seat and grabbed my sword. While putting the strap onto my back, I looked back at Peter. He'll be fine, I'm only going on a quick walk.

I walked into the hallway and was immediately greeted by the cold air coming from the shattered window. I walked towards it and looked into the dark night. Small specks of white was falling from the sky making the ground look like a thin white blanket covered everything. When I was little, the smallest flake of snow would make me crazy but now a days, snow is horrible.