'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button girl,
So cradle your head in you hands
And breathe, just breathe,
Whoa breathe, just breathe
'You're only responsible for being honest, not for someone else's reaction to your honesty.'
I'd like to that's true."
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You can watch as many cop and law shows as you want, but none of them will ever prepare you for the moment you have to walk into a real courtroom. For weeks I had spent my free time watching court proceedings on TV shows and in movies-- trying to prepare myself for the moment I was put on the stand to testify in Hannah's case. However, as I stood outside the courthouse on that actual morning, I realized just how unprepared I was.
"You'll be okay." My dad offered me what I assume he thought to be a comforting smile, though it did nothing to ease my worries. I tried to think back to what Zach had told me last night, that I would be okay as long as I told the truth and not some trail of lies like Marcus had. He was right. I needed to tell the truth-- for Hannah, Jessica, Mrs. Baker, and everyone else that had suffered at the high school.
Though not matter how right I knew Zach was, it didn't help to ease my worries about the large crowd of people that had gathered on the courthouse steps. Dozens of protesters were there to support Mrs. Baker's lawsuit. Many of them carried signs with them, a large majority of which hosted Hannah's face on them. When I looked at them all I could see was Hannah as she stood outside my house, staring up at my bedroom window with an upset look painting her face.
"Ready?" I was snapped out of my thoughts by my mother's voice. Dad and I turned around to find her making her way towards us, dressed in a nice dark blue dress instead of her usual police uniform. Her question was aimed at me, making her and Dad both look my way.
"As ready as I'll ever be," I sighed.
"Then let's do this." Dad wrapped an arm around my before we started to walk towards the courthouse together, a parent standing on either side of me.
For a moment it felt as though things were back to normal, as though the last two years had never happened. For just a moment I was able to fool myself into thinking that my parents were still happily married to one another and that we were all on our way to another one of Jeff's games to cheer him on. For a moment my family felt as though it were whole again. But that moment came to a halting stop very quickly as I looked back at another one of the signs that held Hannah's picture. Staring at my late friend's photograph I was reminded of just where I was, how things were far from being perfect and normal. That the life I had once had would never come back.
