'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button girl,
So cradle your head in you hands
And breathe, just breathe,
Whoa breathe, just breathe
"I thought a long, long time about what to say today. How to pay tribute, but also tell the truth.
I have to admit, when I was asked to speak today, I didn't want to. To stand up in front of all these people. But it's what Hannah deserves."
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"It truly hurts me to think that my actions have caused anyone emotional distress. When I think of the pain that I may have caused, I-I just... Well, I feel awful. Every day, I wish that I could go back in time. I was used to a certain culture of partying and hookups, and many of us never questioned it, but it is time to question it. And I know that I need to be the one to set an example. I'm-- I'm trying every day to be a better man, to be the man that my parents raised me to be. And to be a positive influence at Liberty High. It is my sincerest hope that you will allow me to do so. Thank you, sir."
Bullshit.
Just a single word could accurately sum up Bryce's whole speech. It was the only word that ran through my mind as I sat in the first row on the prosecution's side of the courtroom. A courtroom that was a stark contrast to the one I had been in just a month earlier, hearing as the jury declared the school not responsible for what happened to Hannah.
Rather than being packed to the brim with people there were only fiftieth people in attendance today-- only ten of which weren't court officials. On the defense's side rested Bryce and his parents while Jessica and I sat on the prosecution's side with our parents and Mrs. Jensen.
Admittedly, it felt strange to sit there with my parents on either side of me. We almost felt... united. For the first time since my first attempt we almost managed to seem like a family. For the first time I had no doubt that they were both on my side, no matter how fucked up the circumstances were.
"Does the county accept the allocution?" Judge Purdy asked.
"We do, Your Honor." The prosecutor rose to his feet as he spoke. "Prior to sentencing, the victims would like to exercise their right to make their own statements."
"Proceed," Purdy nodded in approval.
"You can do this." My father whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of my head before Jessica and I got up. We joined hands with one another as we made out way to the podium, trying to offer one another a silent form of support.
"You Honor, thank you for this opportunity to address the court. If it's all right, for the first part of our statement, we'd like to address the defendant directly." Jessica requested.
"Go right ahead," Purdy agreed.
"The first weekend in September, my parents were out of town and my little brothers were at their grandparents'. I wanted to host a party, like I thought a popular cheerleader should. My boyfriend was there. Your friend Justin. We had been drinking. We decided to go up to my room. I remember making out with him. And then I..." Jessica paused for a moment as we all listened closely to her every word. "And then I started to fall asleep or...or pass out. I just... I remember thinking that I just needed to close my eyes for a few minutes. Then he... Then he walked out of the room. And then I remember waking up to you pulling off my underwear. I remember feeling you push yourself inside of me. I may not remember all of the details, but I will never forget the sheer terror of feeling your weight on top of me, of not being able to breathe."
