The End (hunger games fanfic)

Chapter 9

"Sorry I'm late," I said letting myself in, the Hawthorne's were like a second family to me, so I felt comfortable walking into their house without permission. I had been invited anyway so they wouldn't care. "It's alright sweetie, it's about to start," Gales mum said, her eyes puffy and her cheeks stained with tears. It looked like I wasn't the only one that had a breakdown. I felt bad for her, I knew what she was going through. Prim ran over and hugged me. "Are you alright?" She asked, I must still look like I did this morning. I nodded once, not wanting to lie to her. I wasn't alright. Hanging with Peeta helped a bit, but the hole inside of me was no were near filled. Prim grabbed my hand and we say on the couch, I sat on the right end, Prim in the middle and Rory to the left of her. I smiled at him, he gave a me am apologetic look, he knew I didn't want to be here watching this, I knew he didn't either. He was the only person I have been complete open to since Gale has gone, which Is surprising seeing as Rory is 12. Somehow he understood me. Gale was his role model, and the chance that we have both lost the most important person to us is very high. Well Prim is the other most important person to me. I think it might be the same for Rory. Rory and Prim start talking and I look over at the other couch, my mum was the closest to me, sitting on the left, then next to her was Vick and his mum next to him. She caught my glance, the pain on her face felt like a reflected image of the pain on mine. I wanted to smile at her but I couldn't. I felt tears forming in my eyes, I refused to cry, not yet anyway. Hazel's seam eyes (grey like mine, and most people in seam. Mum and Prim had unusual eyes and hair for people in the seam)

Reminded me of gale. i felt it happening again, the memories were coming it felt so wrong, preparing myself to scream out at someone else's house. I wanted to run outside, I wanted to run into the woods, but I couldn't move. Not even a little. Only one memory came back this time. The time before the reaping.

"We could do it you know," Gale said, looking at the sky. "Do what?" I asked confused. What was he talking about? "Leave the district. Run off. Live in the woods. You and I, we could make it," Gale said. I wasn't sure how to respond. "If we didn't have so many kids," he adds quickly. Of course we didn't actually have kids, he meant my sister prim, his two brothers, Vick and Rory and his sister Posy. And I guess our mothers too, they couldn't live without us.

"I never want to have kids," I had said.

"I might. If I didn't live here," Gale said answering my unasked question.

"But you do," I said, irritated.

"Forget it," he snaps.

"Katniss? Katniss!" Prim's soft voice yelled out, i wonder how long I would have continued having that thought if she hasn't spoke to me. "Katniss whats wrong?" she asks more worried this time. I hadn't realised I had tears rolling down my cheeks until she said that. "G-g-gale," I said, choking when I tried to talk. She hugged me, I realised everyone was probably looking at me now, thinking I'm insane. "Katniss sweetie," Hazel said, I think she was going to say its alright, but she hated lying to me. Prim wiped the tears falling from my eyes, not the first time she's done that. "Katniss, he still has a chance, he could come home." Rory said quietly. I nodded, Rory understood what had happened. I told him about the memories and my breakdown. Prim let go of me and I just say there. Now that I stopped crying I felt empty. Emotionless. It's better than pain, I told myself. If he doesn't make it home, I hope it's like this, I hope I feel nothing. Maybe il be like mum was when dad died. I knew I wouldn't be able to hunt if Gale dies. I felt so selfish, like I was telling myself that if he dies, I'm giving up on my family. Maybe it was true. I hope not. "The interviews are starting," mum whispered pulling me from my trance.