Fate [Ai Mikaze x Reader]

Chapter 11 - Throbbing Pain Of The Heart

Why would he say something like that?

Why would he hug me so... gently?

Why would he whisper in such a tone he never talked in?

Why can't I stop thinking about it?

Those questions were still floating in the back of my head. It has been almost two weeks since we were by my mother's grave. Ai's soft words were still ringing in my ears. 

"... I don't understand myself... but I want to be your person of comfort. Will you let me...?"

He "forbid" it for me to cry like that again... Which kind of felt like a promise to not let me be sad again. But he wouldn't promise me something like that... Right?

I bit on the side of my cheek, fumbling with the bracelet I had on my wrist. I remember that when I was younger, Eiji gave it to me. The shining, clear, blue jewels calmed me down... usually. But... it didn't feel right to wear it anymore. It gave me a strange feeling, like it didn't even belong to me. The fact that it didn't help me anymore made me feel even more intense. Why am I feeling like this?

This feeling... this horrible feeling. 

Embarrassment, tension, nervousness, confusion, worry.

Yet, those words didn't even explain it.

I let out a shaky sigh. I need to talk to Reiji. He is the only one who knows, he will know what to say... and I could really use some good advice in this situation.
I nodded to myself, turning my way towards the practice room I knew to be used by QUARTET NIGHT in this hour. Desperately clinging onto my bracelet for some comfort, I tried my best to calm myself since the other members of the band will most likely be there too - not to mention Ai himself.
I stopped in front of the wooden door.
I looked down. Something didn't feel right. My heart was pounding. I tried to calm my breathes and raised my fist to knock on the door.
"NO! I am NOT working with THAT!" I heard Ranmaru's booming yell from inside. I stopped myself.
"I'm not a 'that', Ranmaru--"
"Then what are you supposed to be!? How do you even expect me to see you as a human at this point!?"
"..."
"How are you planning to write songs with emotions, huh!? When you are nothing but an empty piece of metal-!?"
"Enough, Ranmaru!"
"I'm not!!"
I heard Reiji and Ai yell at the same time. I stared in front of myself. My heart was still pounding in my throat. I felt cold sweat running down my temples. Ai's secret was broken...?
"Accept your consequences, Mikaze. As an object, I highly doubt you could ever match our levels," Camus' cold tone said. "And I refuse to let such a foolish reason like yourself drag me down. I refuse to work with an object."
"I'm not an object!!!" Ai's voice yelled out. I was surprised by his tone. Instead of bluntness, strictness and empty words, I heard pain, anger and rage. 
"Hah. Pathetic."
I heard something like a woosh, then a grab.
"Ai, calm down!"
I peeked in the door. Reiji was holding back the tealette from punching Camus in the face.
"That's fine. I don't want to work with you either..." he hissed after taking a deep breath.
"Then here is a suggestion. Why don't you just go and delete yourself? It must be an easy thing to do," the count said smugly, turning to walk out the door. "Don't eavesdrop on people next time, little girl," he spat at me, shoving me out of the way.
"That was harsh...!" Reiji muttered.
"He is right! For once in his life," Ranmaru rolled his eyes, walking out of the room as well while not even sparing me a glance.
"... Go. Go after them," Ai muttered to the frowning Reiji.
"B-But Ai-Ai--"
"That was not a suggestion, but an order. Leave."
"..." Reiji walked out. He stopped for a second, looking at me, then shaking his head in disbelief and leaving.
Ah... He must think I was spying on them...
Ai stared in front of himself with dark eyes, before plopping down in front of the piano.
"..."
He placed his fingers on the piano keys, before starting to play a soft melody.
...
I somehow felt like it was his way of letting his emotions out. Even in the melody... I felt sadness and pain.
"... Ai...?"
He stopped playing, but didn't look up. He stared at the piano keys in silence.
"... Is this the emotion... when you feel anger and betrayal?" he finally muttered out.
"... I... I'm sure they didn't mean any of what they said. They just... need time to process the information too..." I muttered. "... it's... rather hard accepting that your friend isn't exactly who you thought he was."
"... They want me to disappear," he mumbled. "They want me to leave. I don't want to work with them anymore, either. I don't work with robophobic people."
"... Uhm..." I slowly muttered. My heart was beating out of my chest, as I felt like this was the chance I was supposed to grab. "... You know... if you want to leave that bad, there is a pretty good agency I've heard about..."
"..."
"... A-And even if they found out your secret, I'm pretty sure they would handle it well!! I mean I've heard there is a thirteen-year-old kid in their group... s-so..."
"... going to another agency..." he muttered. "... I don't know... I was programmed to work for Shining..."
"And do you want him to keep using you as the "perfect idol" card?" I sighed. "This agency would treat you for who you are..."
"..." he looked down for a few seconds. "... Alright. I will go with you to visit them and I will see..."
"..." my stomach got in a huge knot. "O-Okay...!"
He nodded, continuing to play the piano. His expression still looked pained, as his fingers gently pressed against the piano keys. 
"... Hey, Ai..." I mumbled, slowly pulling my bracelet off my wrist. "... here."
"... What's that?"
"U-Uhm..." I looked away. "I had this bracelet for a long while... it usually calms me down when I'm upset, but it doesn't seem to work anymore, so I thought I might as well give it to you... Hehehe..."
"... Why?" he tilted his head.
"... W-Well, you did promise to comfort me so... I wanted to... give something to comfort you... if I'm too weak to do it myself..." I mumbled. I felt warm blood rising to my cheeks, and I tried to gulp down my anxiety.
"..." Ai slowly took the bracelet, placing it on his wrist. "... How does this comfort me?"
"... If you... remember that it was an act of kindness..." I mumbled.
"......" he looked up at me, then slowly smiled while staring into my eyes.. "..... I see. Thank you."
...
"... Y-Yeah... Uhm, I will go then!!" I quickly jumped up, as I felt my heart throbbing again.
"... Oh... alright..." he muttered, looking away as well. "... good luck at work..."
"Y-You too, ahaha...!" I chuckled nervously, sprinting out of the room.
My heart is going crazy...
Why is this happening to me?
I can't possibly be falling in love with the person I was supposed to hate the most.
There is no way...
There is just no way.