Fate [Ai Mikaze x Reader]

Chapter 14 - Truth Of My Deep Sleep

Sitting there in the whiteness and silence of the empty hallway was quite depressing.

It was still early dawn - surprisingly enough, there was barely anyone around in the building of the hospital. A few nurses and doctors sprinted around from here and there, either mumbling to themselves or each other. The small crew was sitting there by the reception - since they were told they couldn't go further than that. Otoya and Reiji, both wrapped in bandages that the nurses forced on them, were sitting next to each other - the redhead was sleeping on the latter's shoulder, with a stressful expression. Meanwhile, the brunette was paying half of his attention to his surroundings so he can jump up whenever the doctor finally arrives to tell them anything, and half of it to his phone. Even though he already knew Raging Ootori and his security got arrested, he constantly kept checking the news so he can be entirely sure.
Next to those two, was Ranmaru and Camus, both forced to be present by Reiji. The silverette had his ears plugged in, his fingers quietly messing around with a key chain. He had a sour face expression on. Meanwhile, the blonde had his nose buried in a book without any kind of care in the world.
STARISH wasn't present due to a crucial interview. It was already troublesome for them that Otoya couldn't attend, but they obviously understood the consequences and tried to make up whatever excuse for his absence. This matter was very private, after all.
And then, a bit further from the rest, was Ai. His hands clenched into fists, he didn't take his eyes off from that glass door for one second. He knew that something was wrong with his system at that moment due to pure shock, overwhelming emotions and overheating, but he couldn't care less. Besides the several error codes running through his mind, he could only see one thing in front of himself.
Her in his arms, unconscious, blood all around the both of them.
He now knew all the details. What truly happened behind the scenes. He also knew what happened to her was unfair. And he knew one fact too - he only had himself to blame.
He also knew that he felt affection towards her, something that was more than anything he ever felt.
But he was asking himself - does that even matter anymore? If he lost her for good, then what will he do? Why didn't he realize these feelings sooner? He could have prevented this from happening. So what if she is gone? How does he continue? Can he even continue? Or will he just shut down forever?
He sighed deeply, trying his best not to lose focus. For the second time in his life, he felt like crying. But he knew that it was his duty to stay strong. If Reiji could do it, he could do it too. It's not that hard. Right?

Hours passed by in a flash. The hallways got filled with people and noise, which also woke up a very stressed Otoya. From that point, the redhead just stared in front of himself. Meanwhile, the crowd got more and more stressed. Even Camus started to show slight worry.

Then, the glass door opened. Ai immediately jumped up from sitting. The doctor walked over to them, pulling off his mask.
"Her life is out of danger for now," he told them, getting straight to the point. "A shot to the head causes instant death 90% of the time, so she is very lucky to still be alive. She is unconscious, and we can't really be sure when she will wake up. We've done all that we could do. All we can do now is hope and wait."
The bittersweet news seemed to calm the group somewhat, but didn't cheer them up. 
"Sorry sir - can we see her?" Reiji asked, also standing up.
The doctor was silent for a few seconds, murmured something to a nurse, then turned back to them.
"Yes, but only one person at a time. I don't think she could handle more in her state. Room 324. Excuse me, but I have an operation to do."
Pulling his mask back up on his face, he disappeared into the crowd.
"..." 
Reiji slightly pushed on Ai's shoulder.
"You go," he muttered gently.
"Eh...?"
"I know that you are the one who needs to see her the most. Go."
"..." Ai slowly nodded. "... Thank you."
He walked to the glass door, and with an inhale, he entered. Walking through yet another corridor, moving his gaze from number to number. He could feel his heart beat faster by the closer he got. Then, he stopped in front of one door.
His blue orbs scanning the pure whiteness of it, the golden room number which said 324. His slightly shaking hand grabbed the doorknob, as he anxiously entered the room.
He already knew that it's not gonna be easy, but the sight still made his heart ache. Her, laying in that bed - the pure whiteness of the sheet, her clothes, her skin almost as bright as she herself. At least, that's how Ai saw it. It would've almost been like a scene out of a fairy tale, if only she wasn't attached to several machines, if only her eyes were open, if only she was smiling just as brightly.
Ai slowly walked closer to her, sitting down by her bed. It didn't feel right just to stare at her, so he decided to talk.
"... Hello." he hesitantly whispered. It felt right to whisper. He didn't want to disturb the calm silence. "... I honestly don't know... if you can hear me. How does that work with humans...? ... I will just... talk, anyway."
He fumbled with his fingers. For the first time in his life, he didn't know what to say. What does one say to an unconscious person? Is there something you are supposed to say? Or do you just speak whatever is on your mind?
Ai hesitantly decided on the latter option. It would probably be better for him if he got these feelings out of himself. Even if she can't hear him.
"... I've been doing some thinking." he slowly started. "About why does my heart keep being strange when I'm around you... why does it beat so loudly like it's going to explode... literally, that was a serious worry on my mind at some point." he looked away. "... I didn't really... know what it was. I kept wondering why I felt so much better when you were around. Why did all the troubles and worries seem to just disappear... But... I realized that what I feel is something particular. And it was something about you, after all..."
He slowly looked up at her pale face.
"... [F/N]... is... is this what they call love?" he tilted his head a bit. "Do I really love you? I feel like I do... I know I do. But if I do... how could I let this happen?"
He bit his lips. "After all, it's all my fault. I let anger take the better of me, and yet... I wanted you to come back all along. So, why didn't I tell you to come back? Why didn't I go after you? Why wasn't I there to protect you, as I promised? Am I really so cruel?"
He looked down, tears filling his eyes yet again.
".... I'm sorry." he breathed out. "I know that I wasn't the best partner. But... I'm waiting for you to come back."
His hand slowly moved on top of her cold one, rubbing warmth onto it.
"... I'm waiting... no matter how long it takes."
He ran out of words, and silence enveloped the room once again. Nothing could be heard besides the small beeps which sensed her heartbeats. Ai didn't like the silence, so while his thumb rubbed the top of her hand, he softly started singing.
"If there was no future...
If everything ended today...
... what would you do?
In the time we have left,
Before we lose everything...
I would hold you close..."