Bill Hader Short Stories

Barry and Hank - Gay Play Part 1

Plot: Noho Hank joins Gene Cousineau's acting class for a hobby (and y'know... to get closer to Barry). Gene wants the class to perform a scene from any play or a scene they wrote themselves. Hank writes a special scene for him and Barry to perform. Sally and Barry get into a little bit of conflict.

Part 1

'I want everyone to choose a scene from a play or you can write one yourself, I don't care just do it. I'll see you all tomorrow at one o'clock and you need to pay in advance in cash.' Gene says, grabs his keys from his front chair and hurries everyone out of the class all while collecting everyone's $15 dollars for tomorrows class. He follows everyone else out of the theatre, slowly climbs into his dusty black car and drives out of the car park beeping at Nick and Jermaine, without slowing down. 'Hey, Barry?' Barry hears a familiar and soft voice and as he turns he sees Hank walking directly behind him and Sally. 'I've got to go to an audition Barry, but I'll see you at home later' Sally says to Barry 'Whose taking you to the audition?' he asks 'Oh uh, Natalie was going to take me. Its across town and its starting in 10 minutes so I really have to go, but I love you!' She quickly pecks his cheek and runs to Natalie's car. Barry is somewhat shocked and mutters a quiet 'Love you too..' Hank is still stood there, a sour look grows on his face, as if to say 'Did he like that kiss?'

Barry turns to Hank with a furious look on his face, his nostrils had opened to a strange degree, his pupils looked like pinholes and his eyebrows had furrowed. He was looking around at everyone walking and standing talking about their ideas for tomorrows class, sort of in a panicky way and he looks back at Hank. 'What do you want, why the fuck are you here?' 'I joined the acting class. I've heard about this from Fuches and-' Barry cuts him off and his face drops 'Fuches?' he asks 'Yeah, but that is not the point, I joined the acting class!' 'Why?' 'Because I want to see why you like it here so much, now I do' he says, gesturing to the theatre and everyone talking, standing and on their phones. 'Ok, well Hank I have to go' Barry starts to walk off mildly fast and he seems pretty pissed off.

He gets to his car. Hank starts to panic and runs to his car. Hank shouldn't have done this but he gets to Barry, smacks his hand down on his shoulder and pulls Barry's hand away from his dirty, blue cars drivers side handle. Barry whips around, stares Hank in the eyes inches from his face, holding and squeezing Hanks wrist, turning his skinny already white skin wrist almost the colour of paper. 'Hank. Don't ever fucking touch me again.' Hank backs away slowly but not that far because Barry is still holding his wrist, very much like a clamp.'The only person that's allowed to touch me ever, is Sally.' He says in a very clearly, angry tone 'I'm sorry. I just wanted to say, thankyou for not telling me to leave the class..' Barry backs away from Hank, his face a little more relaxed after hearing Hanks sincerity then he lowers himself into his car, drives out of the broken asphalt car park and drives off. Hank is left there by himself in shock and walks away back to the Chechen/ Bolivian stash house