Bill Hader Short Stories

Barry and Hank - Gay Play Part 12

Plot: Noho Hank joins Gene Cousineau's acting class for a hobby (and y'know... to get closer to Barry). Gene wants the class to perform a scene from any play or a scene that they wrote themselves. Hank writes a special scene for him and Barry to perform. Sally and Barry get into a little bit of a conflict.

Part 12

Sally and Natalie finish performing their scene and everyone in the class is tired, they just want to go home and sleep. Sally walks off stage, looking down at the ground as she walks back to her seat. Natalie trails behind her and walks passed her to her seat. 'Ok, now Hank and Barry's scene. Lets see it' Gene calls and Barry turns to Hank 'Ok, you ready?' 'Ready as ever' Hank replies with a specific look of love in his eyes that Barry never got from Sally (Or anyone else for that matter) 'Ok, lets go' Barry stands up and walks in front of Hank down the seating steps and up the stage steps. Hank looks down to find his hands shaking and his heart racing. He looks at the class, all staring at them as Barry sets up the stage and Hank stands scared. 'Hank, come here' Hank doesn't hear him. Looking out to the class trying to see, with the bright stage lights blocking his view of most of the class. 'Hank!' Barry says next to his ear, sending shock through his body.

'Barry, I don't know if-' 'You can do this. Come backstage with me. Gene, we'll be ready in a few minutes' 'Ok, fine. Everyone have a 5 minute break.' Barry pulls Hank backstage. 'Hank, look at me. Remember how we rehearsed it at home? It's just like that but now, we're in front of a few people! You're going to be fine. If you forget your lines, look at the script, its not an official show so you can do that. You okay?' Hank doesn't answer and Barry grabs his shoulders pulling his attention back to him. 'Hank, you need to take a few deep breaths. Breathe with me, come on.' Barry demands and they do 3 deep breaths in through their nose and out the mouth. Hank hugs Barry 'Thankyou Barry. I think I'm ok now, lets go kill the stage!' Hank says excitedly and walks out on stage, Barry looking on confused 'Uh, yeah lets go.. kill the stage?' he says and follows Hank.

'Finally, they're back! We've been waiting!' Gene says 'Sorry, we're good now' Hank says and Gene is surprised. 'He talks! Ok, good. Do your scene.' They start their scene and as they get closer and closer to the kiss, both of their hearts start to race. Sure, they've rehearsed the scene at home by themselves but not in front of anyone. 'The kiss is on the next page' Hank thinks to himself. His heart beats faster then it ever has before, the same happens to Barry's. Hank has written the most stereotypical breakup-makeup scene. Hank and Barry are saying their lines and the suspense builds. Hank says his second last line before the kiss. 'Please don't leave me, ever...' Hank has tears in his eyes and Barry couldn't tell if that was apart of the scene or not. His heart broke seeing Hank almost cry. Barry stops before he cries, says his line and nods at Hank. 'I wouldn't ever leave you. You know that right? I love you' They step closer together and Hank softly says 'I know. I love you too.'

They walk closer to each other, hug and they look each other in the eyes. when they hear heels stomp out of the theatre. They both know who it is that walked out but they maintain loving eye contact. The class is so enthralled in the scene that they don't even notice Sally storming out, even Gene. Their eyes close and they kiss the most passionate kiss, Barry's arms behind Hank moving from the hug and moving up his back basically holding him so he doesn't fall backwards. Hanks hands clamp together and drop to rest on Barry's lower back. They can hear the class gasp and coo at them. The kiss ends and they hold their foreheads together as the scene ends as well. They pull away and Hank blushes. They stand side by side and both bow. The class claps at them and Sally is no where to be seen. Barry notices but is too concerned with Hank and the class. He turns to Hank 'Hey, we did it bud! I love you, Hank' Barry whispers and kisses Hank again but on his cheek.

'Wow, that was actually kind of good. I'm surprised!' Gene says 'Ok, that was the last of the plays and scenes to do!' Hank and Barry hold hands as they walk off stage and back to their seats. The class ends and Gene dismisses them.

*Time pass*

Barry and Hank walk into Hanks warehouse-house, Hank in front and Barry following behind. 'Hank, I didn't know you were good at Improv' Hank turns and looks back at Barry with a silly expression on his face which makes Barry laugh. 'I didn't know you even knew what the word improv meant' Hank fires back at Barry and they both laugh. The laughter dies down and Hank asks curiosly 'Are you happy that its over?' Barry stops and pauses 'If it was with anyone else I would be..' Hank's heart flutters and they hug.

The end of Barry and Hank - Gay Play