He Loved Me First ✓

He Loved Me First (17)

Chapter 17

By the time I saw her next, I realized that it had been me that was dragging Felicity down. Her post-breakup self was happy. I don't know how I missed that she just hadn't been herself for the past few months, at least. I was glad that she was back up on her feet. “Oliver,” she told me, “I don't know why, but I feel like one hundred pounds has been lifted from my shoulders. Should I feel bad about that, since it was all due to our breaking up again?”

“No,” I said, smiling a little. “Don't feel bad, Felicity. I was the one weighing you down, me and that relationship. It was selfish of me to keep you locked in for so long. Now you're being set free. I just wish I had been the one to set you free. I should have realized something was wrong.”

“No, no. I didn't realize it either. I just knew something was off, and that it couldn't continue to go on. I didn't realize the profound impact it had on the both of us, me especially.”

We faded into the silence. Month passed. Felicity invited me back to her parents' house for dinner. I asked if they'd still want me around, considering my new situation with Felicity. She said it didn't matter. She wanted me there, and so I was going to come whether they liked it or not. As it turned out, I had nothing at all to worry about. Her family still loved to have me around. When Felicity announced that we had broken up, her mother told me I was still welcome anytime.

Agnes and Lucy whispered amongst themselves, then finally Lucy said, “If Felicity won't marry you, I will!”

This made the whole family laugh. I, quite amused by this ordeal, replied, “Let's wait ten years, and we'll see. You might not like me so much then.”

After dinner, Peter pulled me aside. “I was told to tell you that you would make a good priest,” he said. “Does that mean anything to you?” I didn't have to ask Who told him to tell me that. I hesitated so long that he said, “And then this lady appeared to me in a dream. She told me, “Tell Oliver I'm always with him, and, 'Be a priest!'”

“What?” I asked him, utterly shocked at this point. Then it dawned on me. “Did this lady have two little girls with her?”

“Yes. Do you know her?” he asked.

“No. That's the problem.”

“But you saw her before?” His eyes lit up. I suppose he thought I thought he was crazy. Or maybe he thought he was crazy, but what I hinted at told him he didn't make it all up.

“Yes. I was an atheist a few years ago, and she appeared in a reoccurring dream I had. I was walking in a field and I saw her and the little girls. She was crying over a grave. When I got closer I saw it was mine. Then the field caught on fire. They disappeared, but I was being suffocated by the flames.”

“And you don't know who she is?”

“No, but she looks a lot like my mother.”

“Interesting.”

“Do you get this kind of thing a lot?” I asked him.

“You mean this prophecy stuff?”

“Yeah.”

“Sometimes.”

“So I guess I should take your words seriously then, shouldn't I?”

“I guess so,” he said.

“Thank you,” I told him.

I told no one of his words to me, the words that echoed Mrs. Larabee's words so exactly. And then there was the lady in our dreams. She said to be a priest, and that she was always with me. Why? This was something I wouldn't find out until quite some time later.

I went immediately to an adoration chapel and spent an hour (or was it two?) praying about these words. I had never had any desire to be a priest, and yet, part of me now wanted it more than anything in the world. “Be a priest,” the lady had said. These words repeated over and over in my mind. I couldn't get them out of my head, no matter how hard I tried. And when I asked God what He wanted me to do, her words sounded so loud and clear that I could almost reach out and touch them. “Okay,” I said. “I'll be a priest.” Such joy flooded my being at that very moment. I couldn't comprehend it, but I didn't need to.