He Loved Me First ✓

He Loved Me First (24)

Chapter 24

When Tuesday arrived, seven days after our phone call, Felicity came bounding into my office with as much enthusiastic as ever. I was not exactly prepared for her, knowing not exactly the time she would arrive. I had my radio playing softly in the background as I worked. I stood up as she came in and enveloped her into a hug. We didn't need any words to express how much we had missed each other. I saw it in her eyes and I'm certain she saw it in mine.

As we sat down in the chairs, I noticed someone was missing. “Um, Felicity, wasn't this supposed to be a meeting for three?”

“He's coming, I swear!” I could have sworn that there was a panicked look that touched her eyes for just a moment.

Just then our song, the song playing right before I kissed her for the first time, “The Way You Smile” by NewSong featuring Francesca Battistelli, came on the radio. “Care to dance?” I asked her with a grin. She smiled too, but we would never get the chance, for as soon as I took her hands, the door slammed open and a man stood in the doorway. I dropped her hands immediately.

“I knew it!” he said. “I knew you were cheating on me. The wedding is off!” Without another word, he stormed off.

“What just happened?” I asked. When she didn't answer, I asked, “Felicity, why in the world would he think you were cheating on him, and with a priest, at that?”

She wouldn't look at me when she answered, “He's sort of an atheist.”

I blinked in surprise. “What?”

“He's an atheist,” she said again.

“Felicity,” I began.

“Don't say it.”

“Well, someone needs to. What happened to your promise?” I pulled out the Diary of Saint Faustina, her gift to me from three years earlier. I flipped open to number 396, where she had talked about people on the train with her. I read aloud, “She was a schoolteacher. When she was about to take her examinations, she had promised God that if she did well in her examinations she would devote herself to His service: that is, enter a religious congregation. She passed the examinations very well. 'But,' she said, 'when I entered into the hustle and bustle of the world, I no longer wanted to enter a convent. However, my conscience has given me no peace, and despite amusements I am always unhappy.'”

“I know exactly how that feels,” she said. I didn't doubt it. She seemed a hollow version of herself. “But what am I to do, Oliver?”

I thought for a moment. “How about we start with a good confession?”

“But I can't go to you for confession!”

“Not a problem,” I said. “We'll just go bug Father Pius.”

“Oh, but Oliver!” she said.

“No,” I said. “You know how he is. He won't see it as bothersome at all, and now I know exactly how that feels. Besides, I need to go to confession as well.”

When we got to his office, I knocked on the door, just like that day so long ago. “Have time for two confessions?” I asked him. “I won't promise they'll be short though.”

“Of course!” he said.

“Oliver, can you go first?” Felicity asked me softly.

“Absolutely,” I told her.

After making my confession, I sat waiting for Felicity. I probably waited at least an hour for her, but I know that time was much needed, so I didn't mind so much. She was crying as she walked out. I left her to her penance, and when she came back to me, I asked, “Better?”

“Yes!” Still crying, she hugged me, and said, “Thank you so much!” We walked back to my office to continue our conversation. “I felt like I was running out of time. I thought that if I didn't get married now, would I ever? I jumped at the first chance I got.” I was about to say something, but she went on. “You don't have to lecture me about patience or about trusting God. Father Pius already did that. Anyway, I still don't know where to go from here. Any ideas?”

I thought about it, then said, “Do you remember when you told me that if you didn't marry me you were going to enter with the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist?”

“I do,” she said. “What are you saying?”

“I'm saying that you said yourself that they were about the happiest people you've ever met. I'm thinking that maybe you need to revisit them. You could use a little of their joy.”

She was visibly shocked, but then said, “How-how did you know that, that I was just moments ago thinking about that?”

“I didn't. I just feel that you should visit them?”

“And enter their Order,” she said, finishing my thought.

“...Yes.”