He Loved Me First ✓

He Loved Me First (9)

Chapter 9

“I don't know,” I said.

“Deep down, you do, Oliver,” Father Pius said.

I didn't have long to ponder his words. Felicity came waltzing in the room. That girl had uncanny timing.

The three of us didn't say anything for a few moments.

“Well, I guess we had better go,” Felicity finally said.

Father Pius looked at his watch. “It's too late for that. I can't let you drive three hours back the way you came. Stay here tonight.” I looked at the size of the couches in the room. It was doable.

“But we don't have any clothes for tomorrow,” I said.

Felicity grinned mischievously. “Yes, you do. We both do. I thought this might happen, so I packed us both bags.” She tossed me mine.

“Well,” Father Pius said, standing up, “I trust that you two won't do anything you're not supposed to?” He was asking Felicity.

“Absolutely,” she smiled. “Thank you.”

“The first Mass is at 7 am tomorrow morning.” He left without another word. I wasn't so sure he trusted me, but he trusted Felicity. That was enough.

The next morning, I woke up with the alarm Felicity set on her phone. She was up for the earliest Mass, so we could get out of here and back to the college faster. I didn't let on that I was awake. I listened to her rushing around the room, getting ready. Soon enough, she was out the door, but not before kissing my forehead and whispering that she loved me. As soon as the door clicked closed, I jumped up and got ready as well. Felicity left 30 minutes before Mass began, so I had plenty of time to make it there.

I noticed that Felicity packed me dress pants and a white shirt. I supposed she was hoping I'd make up my mind to go to Mass. I wasn't sure why I was going in the first place. I just felt like I had to. I walked quickly to the main part of the church, which was just down the hall from me. I followed a large crowd of people and slipped into the back pew silently. I saw that my parents were already there. I wasn't expecting that. They usually went to the 9am Mass. I saw that they were sitting very close to Felicity. I wondered if she knew that.

Mass began, and I stood when others did, but I still refused to kneel. Why should I have to? During the homily, I caught Father Pius' eye. He may have noticed I was there, but I wasn't going to let anyone else know it. I snuck back out the doors in the middle of the last song. I changed into jeans and a t-shirt, knowing I had a few more minutes because of the fact that Felicity stayed a bit after Mass. She suspected nothing when she saw that I was awake. I brushed my hair again, pretending I was just getting ready. “Oh, you're up!” she said. “Good! Are you ready to go back home?”

“All ready,” I told her with a smile. We grabbed our bags and headed out to the car. On the way out, I saw my parents getting into their car. Felicity was the one who pointed them out to me.

“They were sitting right behind me during Mass, Oliver! I noticed during the Sign of Peace, but it wasn't like I could just talk to them, because you haven't introduced me yet. When are you going to?” she asked me.

“I can't today,” I said. There was a strained expression on my face.

“I see,” she said understandingly. “I'll just have to wait a little longer then. But you shouldn't not talk to them. Forgive them, Oliver.”

My mind flashed back to the first and only time I had come home from college. It was almost three years ago, back when my sister was still at home. I tried suppressing the memory, but it was no good whenever Felicity was around.

***

My dad and I had gotten into another argument about something stupid. I don't even remember what it was about, but my dad was furious with me, saying that I wouldn't ever change if I was staying with them. It wasn't a well thought out argument, because I wasn't living there all the time. I had just come home for a break. I didn't bring that up though. He told me that I should leave. He basically was kicking me out of the house.

My mom took him into an empty bedroom and they started talking this out. I could hear them through the wall, since they were only a room away. “You can't do that to him, Andrew,” my mom was saying. “He needs love right now more than ever. If he wants to stay here, we should let him. We need to be supporting. That's the only way he's going to come back to us.”

My dad was pacing the floor. He didn't say anything for a few minutes. I knew he was thinking about it. As he was doing that, I decided I was going to write them a letter about why I couldn't stay. My sister tried to talk me out of it, saying that all of them really did want me to stay there. I wasn't convinced. My letter read:

I just can't stay here anymore. It doesn't

have anything to do with whether or not you've

kicked me out. If people don't want me here, I

can't stay. Have a good life. I'm sure you'll see

me eventually, but don't count on it. Mom, don't

worry about me. I'll be fine. Dad, I know you

didn't actually mean what you said. Don't fret

about it. Alice, be safe.

Love,

Oliver

I heard voices again, so I paid more attention. My dad, after thinking a long time, finally sat down on the bed and said in a much calmer voice, “You really think I'm wrong?”

“I do,” my mom said. I knew her well enough to know that she was putting her hands on his at this moment.

“Okay,” he said. They both stood up. They were coming out of the room. I grabbed my bags and handed the letter to my sister. Then I was out the door. I never looked back. I hadn't talked to my parents since.

***

“I don't think it has anything to do with forgiving them,” I said. “It's just that I can't go over there and talk to them. I have nothing to say.”

“I'm not sure I understand, but I'll let it go just this once. Come on,” Felicity said. She took my hand and we got into her car, ready for the long drive home.