💋One night in Paris💋

Am I ready?

August 2017

Joe's POV
"Morning Casp, hows Ambar?" I asked, I had stayed over Caspar and Josh's house last night for a boys night in, it wasn't often that we stayed over each other's houses and I felt like a little bit again at a sleepover, only this time Zoe wasn't trying to plaster makeup all over our faces.

Caspar had gotten a new girlfriend recently and he's like a changed man. Although they've only been dating a few months, he's already smitten. He just seems so much happier, and it's like a piece of him was missing. He reminds me a bit of how happy I was with Dianne, so if he loves her the way I do Dianne, I would tell him to never let her go. Ever.

Caspar blushed, I don't think I had ever seen him blush before. It was so adorable and I guess love will change you, it does all of us.

"She's amazing, things are going really well and I'm thinking of making it official." He said, I clapped my hands and cheered in excitement, I was so excited for my best friend. Whenever my mates got girlfriends or started seeing people it was always bittersweet. I felt like I should have been over Dianne by now but something tells me I won't, and so far I haven't.

I don't even know if I want to move on, but do I want to spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been? Would I ever see her again? These same questions were constantly floating around in my mind, coming more and more to the front as the days turned into weeks and so on and so forth.

"Oh mate, that's great...that's great." I said, trailing off at the end unable to push past the bittersweet thoughts that would eat me up inside when I dwelled too long. Caspar sighed, leaning on the kitchen counter opposite me.

I had eventually told all the boys what had happened, they were all really respectful and knew that it hit me in heart. Especially Caspar, who I had known the longest, was always there when I needed him.

"Listen, Joe, I know it's hard, you really liked her, right?" Caspar asked, I nodded.

"I know it's a long shot, but, do you think you could date again?" He asked hesitantly, the dreaded question. I thought for a moment.

"I...I don't know. Maybe not arrange anything but could we just see how things go, and if anyone comes along then I think about it?" I suggest, explaining slowly while conceding with my conscience, making sure what I said was my instinct. He came around the counter.

"Sure, if that's what you prefer. Now can we please prank Josh, I need to get him back big time."

This is why Caspar is my best friend.

After we had pranked Josh I took some time out to myself on the balcony, leaning on the railings. I took a deep sigh, the warm summer breeze filling my lungs. This summer had been warmer than any other summer I had experienced in Britain, most summers were fairly cold with the odd day of sunshine. On those odd days of sunshine places like Brighton were absolutely packed, the beaches so crowded that you could barely move. This year we had a heatwave, yet I still felt internally cold, I hadn't felt love in a long time and maybe I was losing hope, but at the same time something told me that it all would workout in the end, it always had.

Another question that pondered my mind was if she had moved on, I wouldn't be surprised if she found someone better than me. I'm nowhere near fitting the stereotypical good looking guy qualifications and over my years I had gathered that, it had bothered me but I didn't let it get to me all that much.

Dianne's POV
I was now on break in the middle of Strictly pro rehearsals, everyone was so welcoming and best mates since day one, Strictly truly was like a family.

"You and Gemma still going strong?" Oti asked Gorka as them two, Karen and myself all sat in a circle eating our lunch. Gemma was a contestant on Strictly last year and they were now dating which was so sweet, they seemed so happy together and we all were really happy for him.

He blushed. "Yep, better than ever." We all smiled.

"Anyone in your lives?" Oti asked, with a mouthful of orange juice making us all burst out laughing. I didn't really know what to say at this point, he still had a small place in my heart but I hadn't seen him in nearly a year, does that mean he's out of my life, I hope not.

"Di?" Gorka asked, I stayed quiet for a few moments. Karen gave them both the 'don't ask' look, Karen can truly read me like a book, but at the same time I wanted to tell them. I just brushed it off, I was in two places about this and didn't know which one to listen to. One part of me wanted to stay quiet as he isn't in my life anymore, another part of me wanted to tell them all but at the same time there was no point, but I wanted to tell them all about him, I was trapped.

I had been for a while now.

Maybe I was doing good in holding on, or maybe I was too afraid to let go.