guilt | kihyuk

August 22nd, 2017

Kihyun woke up his head still aching from the ridiculous amount of alcohol he had consumed the night before. For months now, ever since Minhyuk quit the group and said he would leave, Kihyun lived his life drunk. Maybe he was just trying to forget about his still blooming love for Minhyuk that he kept rejecting. Being drunk made him forget about the pain, forget about his feelings. Indeed he was convinced that Minhyuk did not love him anymore but it was only because he was not able to catch Minhyuk's eyes on him, how worried they were anytime Min would see the man he still love fucking up his health, Min was worried but still so deeply in love with Kihyun. But that Kihyun did not know.

As usual, when Kihyun went to the studio stumbling the guys lectured him and he just scoffed. He would often mess up the choreography or fall down not having any balance anymore. To be honest all were very concerned about him but Kihyun refused to get help, he needed to work this out by himself.

After some time Hyunwoo just sent Kihyun back to his house, him messing up the group works was just getting on everyone's nerves leading to fights and Hyunwoo hated getting mad with his best mates.

Kihyun hated that day already but he did not know it would be the worst day of his life.

Later in the day, when the night was about to fall, someone knocked at Kihyun's bedroom door startling him. Could it actually be Minhyuk? Kihyun suddenly jumped up from his bed so excited. But when he opened the door and saw Minhyuk's eyes scanning him he went back to his cold self. It was his armor he had built ever since he broke up with Min.
"Minhyuk. What is it?" Kihyun stuttered, Minhyuk looked at him concerned because the man was not stuttering out of embarrassment, he was stuttering because he was already drunk again. "I just wanted to say goodbye. I am leaving now." Was all Minhyuk could say, although he wanted to sit Kihyun down and take care of him. The cold attitude Kihyun gave him remembered him that the man did not feel anything for him anymore. Little did he know that Kihyun was actually trying to refrain his feelings.....

❗️TW❗️

Minhyuk grabbed his bags and went quickly outside, he did not notice Kihyun watching him at the front door. He needed to leave fast, he felt like it. Big mistake... It was now dark outside and Minhyuk did not hear the car coming fast towards him.
"MIN!" Kihyun screamed watching the scene and hurriedly opening the door to run outside. Minhyuk looked at Kihyun and smiled, could it be that Kihyun still loves him?
Just before his eyes Kihyun saw Minhyuk's body fly at the other end of the road and the car disappearing in a second. Kihyun ran to Minhyuk's body calling for help. "Min baby can you hear me?" he screamed. Quickly he called an ambulance but it was already too late. Minhyuk was gone.

In the following minutes the ambulance took Min's body away. The six members were reunited at Kihyun's house. At first they screaming at him, swearing at him, telling him it was all his fault, even some fists were thrown. But the six guys spent this cold night crying together. How could Minhyuk leave like that.

Kihyun had never hated himself so badly than that day.

————————————————————————

A/N: I am sorry for this chapter, I seriously wrote this crying my eyes out.
It took me some time to decide whether I should post this chapter or not...
Please don't hate me for that :(