Burning from my Thoughts

6 - School Shootings

8/22/19

School has started up, and the other day we had an ALICE drill. Leading up to it they gave a statistic: in 2018 there were 68 school shootings. That's insane; it's devastating to think about. My math teacher told us that she was in a school 10 minutes away from the first of the school shooting epidemic. The other school secretary called her school secretary and said to lock doors, and close blinds. She had to completely change up her lesson in class that day, all the while pretending that everything was fine to the confused 8th grade students in front of her. I cannot imagine being put in a situation like that. Even doing the drill, our hearts are pumping with adrenaline and our minds are racing.

I know that if its ever real, things will not go as planned. It will be chaos, and everyone will be fleeing in terror for their lives. People will get trampled trying to run away, and maybe some won't escape, maybe some won't make it. I fear what I will do, I fear if I'll make it, or if my friends will, my teachers. I fear for the custodians, and office people, and the security guards. I fear for all who attend the place I get my education.

When and if a shooting occurs, I wonder if I'd give my life to help or save someone else. I wonder what action I will choose if faced with an impossible decision between my life and another's. Fight and response is strong, but can morals be stronger? If I really went down, would it really be so bad? Especially if my last action was to save someone else? Maybe I wouldn't have lived long, sure but I would have used what little time I had to do at least one thing worthwhile.

I don't want to hear about a school shooting tragedy that I endured on the news. I don't want to see the photo of one of my peers that died because of it on a tv screen. I'd rather not hear or see it at all. I'd rather be the one others see. I don't want to cry that I've lost a friend with so much life ahead of them in the event of a shooting. Hopefully, if I'm not riddled with lead in my vital organs, doctors could give them to others who would need them way more than I. Hopefully, they would say I was a hero, who sacrificed my life so others could live.

Or, maybe it could just not happen at all. There could be no more shootings, both in schools, universities, whatever. I would be safe to go out in public, and get an education or a meal without fear for myself, fear for others. Maybe I wouldn't have to think of what I would do in the face of death, and whether I would give my life up for another. Maybe I wouldn't have to think about being a hero, because there would be no tragedies that need them.

Maybe I'm just naïve...