Time is of the Essence

Ten

TOM

Over the course of the next six months I spent a week in New York every month to see Rain. she was stubborn and wouldn't let me come more than that. I still talked and texted her whenever I could. She Facetimed me when she got up and we talked for a few hours before either of us had to so something. I Facetimed her when I was going to bed and kept talking until we fell asleep.

She was well enough to come to London once. I was extremely happy and so was my family. We didn't do anything big just talked and had dinner at their house and maybe a walk around at a nearby park if she was up for it.

She kept pushing that she was alright but I knew that she was hurting or in pain. Her legs looked too skinny to carry her but she kept going. A few times she tripped and I insisted I carried her back to the house where we either played board games or watched movies.

She was always the first to fall asleep. When she did, I carried her up to my old room and tucked her in so she could sleep soundly. It was times like these when I was interrogated by my parents and brothers.

"How is she feeling?"

"Does she need anything?"

"How is treatment?"

"How does she have so much energy?"

"Is she going to die?"

Paddy has always been the blunt one. When he asked if she was going to die my first response was no. she'd pull through but I didn't know that for sure. So I just answered with a simple I don't know and a frown.

It's hard to think about what would happen if she did die. I would be heartbroken. She's the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Or at least the rest of her life. I've been at some of her appointments.

There's always talk of bone marrow transplants, a new type of therapy that she could try but she's only strong enough for chemo. Hopefully when and if that shrinks she can go into radiation and then a different option. But really the only option she has now is chemo.

When she's asleep or in a different room I cry and let the stress out. I have to be strong for her.

I shake so much from the sobs. My hands twitch and I ball them into fists until my knuckles turn white. My teeth chatter, my legs give out, my eye goes crazy, even sometimes I have to hold my head as hard as I can and it still doesn't stop the shaking. I try to keep my sbos silent incase she wakes up or hears but sometimes a loud ugly one that's been building up escapes my mouth and she stirs but doesn't wake up.

When I was visiting I went with her to chemo and held her hand as she went through it. The day after was always the worst. Everything Jake and I forced her to eat she just threw back up. I rubbed her back trying to comfort her as she did. I flinched a little when I saw blood come up but hid it from her. She basically slept the whole day with me watching closely incase she needed anything.

When she woke up a few times a day I'd always ask is she was hungry. She said she was full and my face dropped. We both knew she didn't have anything in her system to give her strength. I asked her to at least have something to drink like juice or even water.

The first few times she tried to but even threw that up. It broke my heart again but I stayed with her. I couldn't let her go through this alone.

She got better the next day but still couldn't leave the house. She called Ivy a few times to invite her over. She came and we talked like we were old friends. We watched movies, played cards or board games to pass the time. And when Rain was asleep we would talk about her.

Ivy said she does the same thing with her and Jake. Trying her hardest not to be a burden on us when she's in pain. We've all told her we don't mind taking care of her but she still doesn't tell us everything.

The third day after and the day before her second chemo day she's great. She can go around town and eat real food without throwing up. One time we went to Jakes show. I got to meet Rains grandmother. She's a very nice lady and treated us to dinner afterwards.

Chemo day the second time is less powerful so not as much throw up and not as much spending time sleeping. She doesn't want to sleep either. She'd rather be writing, reading, watching movies or TV. But what she really wants to do she can't.

She wants to spend time outside walking around and doing something active. Even though the second day isn't bad she still doesn't have enough strength to do all those things.

Today I'm scheduling my flight to see her. It's the second time this month but it's a special occasion. It's our one year anniversary this Thursday and I want to take her somewhere special. I've had this planned out for months. What I'm gonna say what I'm going to wear where I'm taking her. It's all ready.

"Tom?" My mum peeks her head into my room just as I booked the flight.

"Yeah?" I close my computer and turn around in my desk chair to look at her. I instantly smile as I see the small cardboard box in her hands.

"This came for you." She walks in and hands it to me before waiting for me to open it. "What is it?" Instead of telling her I show her. She gasps when she sees the ring I'm going to propose to Rain with.

———

Part ten is up!

Part eleven isn't started!

The next part will be the last official one then an epilogue. I was never planing this to be externally long and one of the out comes I had planed called for making it long.

That's the reason behind the ending you don't know but maybe able to guess.

Not sure if the next part will be up Friday but a new story will be up Tuesday. Hope you enjoyed.

-H