Sinjin, A Vampire Romance

Chapter Fifteen

Bryn

I didn't see Sinjin for the rest of the evening, which might have been because I barricaded myself behind my bedroom door. 'Course, it wasn't as though he made any attempts to lure me out. Instead, I heard the sound of the television for a few hours until I gave up and tried to get some sleep. But sleep mostly eluded me. Instead, I berated myself for everything that happened between Sinjin and me earlier. I just couldn't accept how easily I allowed a vampire to touch me so intimately. And, what was worse, I knew myself well enough to admit that if he hadn't pulled away from me, I wouldn't be a virgin anymore. No, I would be a complete and total tramp who willingly gave herself to her enemy.

Who or what have I become? I asked myself, tears of anger and regret burning my eyes. This isn't me! This has never been me!

I'd never been so swayed by my emotions before, and never indulged them. Not like the way I'd been surrendering to the burgeoning feelings of lust that overtook me the entire time I'd been here. This obvious change confused me and I didn't know what to make of it. I felt out of control and had never once lost control in the past. The truth was: I hated the feeling.

Bryn.

I heard Luce's voice, but it was clearly in my head. I wheeled around from where I was sitting on my bed and searched for him, but all I could see was the emptiness of my bedroom.

Close your eyes, he commanded.

I obeyed his order and found him in my bedroom against the backdrop of my closed eyelids. I was still sitting in my bed, only this time, Luce was standing right before me. He was wearing white robes that trailed to the floor and matched the whiteness of his substantially long hair and beard.

Where have you been? I inquired, unable to mask the anger in my tone. I watched myself pushing the duvet cover back as I stood up and approached him. I was wearing the same outfit I was dressed in earlier.

I could not visit you until now, child, Luce responded, his lips pressing tightly as he studied me. I was suddenly nervous that he somehow knew what went on between Sinjin and me earlier. And if he knew all the particulars, he wouldn't be happy. The thought haunted me and I had to bury it in the back of my mind.

Why didn't you contact me earlier? I asked, crossing my arms over my chest and regarding him with obvious anger. Do you have any idea how difficult it's been for me? Being stuck here, surrounded by my enemies, and without a clue as to where you were or what was going on?

I apologize, child, Luce answered, but I saw no true regret in his eyes. Instead, he appeared stoic, like he didn't appreciate the need to apologize to me, or I was too far beneath him to warrant an apology.

Why did you leave me on the battlefield, all by myself, when you made sure all our tribespeople were transported back with you? Why haven't you made contact with me before now? I shook my head as my voice started to break. Then I coughed and squeezed the tears back, knowing Luce wouldn't understand them. He'd consider me weak for giving in to my emotions.

The time had to be right, Bryn, Luce replied, defending his actions before taking a few steps toward me. He reached out for me with his hands, but his eyes looked just as hard as they were before.

Well, couldn't you at least have touched base with me, just to let me know I wasn't alone? And that you weren't disappointed with me? I insisted. Taking a deep breath, I forced my ragged emotions back into submission.

Disappointed with you? Luce repeated, his bushy, white eyebrows furrowing into an expression that resembled pity. Bryn, you are an expert warrior. I have never been, nor will I ever be, disappointed with you. I am surprised to hear those words coming from your mouth.