s e l f i s h

s e v e n

m a t t h e w ' s  p o v

ever since i met her she's all that's been on my mind. i don't know what it is about her. the first day i just knew her name and now i'm trying to talk to her. but she's so stubborn about everything. she never wants to talk to me or have anything that envolves having me around.

we were at the campsite and i had packed my bag this morning. so i did what i had done the past few nights, sit out on the step of the tent and thought about things. things that revolved around her.

she was beautiful. i know she wasn't like other girls. other girls would throw themselves on top of me. they were very opened and would let me know what they wanted. then the next day i would leave them there. i never wanted to be a heartbreaker. i hate that i have to wear that name under my belt. it's just i didn't feel anything for the girls i've met in the past. i like mystery and girls that are hard to get. i like the ones that knows how to cover up. i like girls that don't throw themselves on top of other guys around me. i like girls who are shy and nice. i like her.

i got snapped out of my thoughts when i heard her voice. her tent was next to mine so it was easy to hear her. she was explaining to her room mate what had happened earlier during our writing block. i don't even know what happened myself to explain. all i want to do is talk to her and know her. but i guess she doesn't want the same. i just want to know why.

"i just can't wait to go home and not deal with him pestering me anymore."

"but why? i mean i know why but he doesn't seem that bad. you should try to let him in. you've only dated one guy before and that was a while ago. just give him a chance. i think he can prove you wrong." hayley's voice said. what does she mean? a bunch of the other girls in between the two groups walked towards their tent. i want to know what she means by that.

the conversation they were having seemed like i shouldn't listen in on it. so i got up and walked towards the bathroom area. i walked passed the bathroom's and down towards the water where we went swimming yesterday.

i sat down on top of the fence they put there. i looked out and got lost in my mind. this has been the best time i've had in awhile. but i miss my sister and mom. hopefully she remembers with all the work she's probably done while i was away. my dad isn't home and won't be for the next year. maybe he'll come home for thanksgiving or my birthday. but knowing him he won't.

"matt, they want you back." rose says. i felt a tear go down my cheek. i couldn't let her see me cry.

"ok, i'll be there in a minute."

"they want you there now. we're going to the ceremony."

"how'd you know i was even here." i said as i wiped the tears on my cheeks away.

"i asked people if they've seen you around. one said they saw you walk by in this direction. why does it matter lets go." she says in an annoyed voice.

i huffed and swung my legs over the fence and stood up.

"you ok? you look like you've been crying."

"yes i'm fine. let's go." i say in my low raspy voice. it sounds like i was crying too. she'll know somethings up so i tried walking past her fast. but i wasn't fast enough i felt her hand wrap around my wrist and tug me.

"stop you don't have to pretend. what happened."

"i'm just home sick. now mind your business you selfish prick." shit i didn't mean that. my face dropped and i turned pale.

"excuse me." she said above a whisper.

"nothing just forget it. i didn't mean it."

"is that how you really feel." she said.