Blue Sky // Josh Kiszka

Happy New Year

Every year, Noah Parker throws a big New Year's party at his house; he's the richest kid in Frankenmuth and he likes to make sure everyone knows that. It's the biggest event of the year and every high schooler is invited. Even me. Not that anyone comes to me and say "hey, Sky, you're invited," we just know everyone is. I never attended to any of them though, never wanted to. But here I am, standing on a corner, body pressed to the expensive wallpaper of Noah's living room.

I still can't believe Ashley convinced me to come. We are invisible, just part of the background, if you will. We're there, but nobody notices and, when they do, they ignore. It's funny, even now, when I'm wearing a worn out jeans and a baggy, black Beatles shirt, while everyone else is dressed in their best set of white clothes, it's like nobody can see I'm here.

I don't mind, it's been like this my whole life, even inside my own house. My parents were always so busy worshipping my sisters they kind of forgot they had a third child. Ash, on the other hand, can't stand our situation. She lives for the attention, she wants to be popular, she wants to be praised, she wants to be Venus. Sometimes I actually think she just hangs out with me to get to my sister, that's the only explanation I can find for someone who wants to be known at our school to be friends with me.

She's been trying to drag me to this party since our freshman year and never succeeded. But this year was different, she had an ace up her sleeve. Once the party was announced, she came directly to me, like she had twice before, and told me how we needed to go. And like I'd done twice before, I said no. That's when she brought Jake up.

I've been in love with Jake Kiszka since I was a freshman and saw him playing the guitar. There's something about art that makes my whole body shiver, it makes me feel like I belong. The best thing about it is that it can come in many shapes and forms, and music, in my opinion, is one of the best of them.

Jake playing was the most magical thing I've ever witnessed, it was poetic. I wrote a whole novel that day about how he made his guitar live. He wasn't just playing it, he was talking to his instrument, caressing its strings gently, carefully, they were even breathing in the same rhythm - yes, they. Like I said, he made the guitar live.

I began paying attention to him after that, always trying to stay close; I fell in love with his mind, he is so smart and sensible. He talks about music like it is a divine entity. He cares so much about the world and mankind in general, and he always seems to use his art to bring his message to people. That's the best thing about him, I guess, there's a purpose to everything he does.

And he is so beautiful, the most beautiful person I've seen in my life. Every detail of his face, every curve of his body, every inch of his skin. He is perfect, he is art.

Since I told Ashley about him, she's been trying to convince me to go and talk to him. I'm a realistic person, even though it hurts, I accepted a long time ago I will never have him, he would never be interested in a girl like me. But deep down, I've never stopped hoping he would. Ash always says he would love me if we talked because, according to her, we're so alike it would be hard for him not to fall for me. She pushed me in his direction many times, begging for me to just say "hi", but I never did.

I like to think I'm good with words. I spend hours inside my room, filling notebook after notebook with them, but I can't talk to the guy, my vocabulary ceases to exist when he's around. But Ashley told me this party would be the perfect opportunity for me to talk to him, she even made me practice what to say.

My eyes are glued to him when she comes, all smiley and sweaty, crowds have this power over her, they make her extraordinarily happy. She grabs my arm and tries to take me to the improvised dance floor with her.