Blue Sky // Josh Kiszka

From the dining table

High school love shouldn't scar so deep. I'm only sixteen, it feels wrong I'm this hurt because of a boy, but I am, anyways. My eyes are like an open tap I can't find the strength to turn off. I barely left my room since New Year's Eve and I still don't know how I'm gonna handle school. It's been hard looking at my sister and it will be harder looking at Jake. I can't even imagine what it will be like to see them together.

I have no idea what kind of relation they have, but I know you don't give away your first kiss of the year to a random someone. I just wonder how did it all started and why I haven't seen this coming.

"What happened to you?" My mom asks when I get down for breakfast. She doesn't even sound concerned, as she keeps making the pancakes.

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"You look like a zombie," my younger sister points out.

"So I guess everything is normal." Venus has this sarcastic smile on her face that I hate since I was a little girl. It makes me wanna punch her mouth and break all of her perfect teeth. I don't answer, time has taught me ignoring her comments is the best way of keeping my sanity.

I play with the pancakes on my plate more than anything, feeling sick with just the idea of having something coming down my throat and landing on my stomach, feeling sick with the memory of Venus and Jake kissing and the possibility of witnessing that again today.

When dad parks in front of the school, I jump out of the car and run inside of the building, not daring to look around, too scared to see where my older sister will head. Ashley has her face hidden by her locker's door when I get in, probably using the mirror she has inside of it to put on some lipstick, something she'd learned from my sister.

"Hey," is all I manage to get out of my mouth when I stop next to her, opening my own locker.

"Hey, how are- wow, you look bad," Ash lets out when she closes her little blue door and faces me. "How much have you cried?"

"Too much."

"You got puffy eyes." She draws a circle with a finger in front of my face, grimacing.

"I like your shirt," a masculine voice tells me from the other side of my body as I prepare to give Ashley a sarcastic answer. "It's even better than the new year's one." Jake has a grin adorning his beautiful face and I can feel Ash holding her breath at the same time I hold mine.

"Thanks," I say timidly, looking down at myself. "My dad says I'm the only one who likes The Stones better than The Beatles. He says I don't know music."

"Well, your dad is wrong." I feel the corner of my mouth quirking up, only to fall down again at the sound of a third voice.

"You better not say this tonight, babe." I see Venus' red nails coming down from Jake's shoulder to his chest, as she emerges from behind him.

"Tonight?" I ask, even though I don't want an answer.

"Jake is having dinner with us tonight. I mentioned it at breakfast, while you stared at your pancakes like a lunatic." I hold my breath and, again, I feel Ash doing the same from behind my back. "Come on, babe, we got English now."

"Just a second, I'll meet you there," he says in a soft voice, leaving a kiss on the top of her head as she rolls her eyes and sighs, turning around and disappearing down the hallway. "I wanted to apologize for the party, the whole name misunderstanding. I saw how upset you got about it." I feel my eyes getting wet, but I hold the tears, even though remembering hurts, even though seeing how soft and loving he was being with my sister only seconds ago hurted even more.