Secrets and Wishes

The Painful Truth

        "When Ashton?" I ask praying for a different answer then the one I know I will be receiving. "In a week." He says looking down. I look like I'm crying, tear stained cheeks, red puffy eyes and of course the choked sobs I have every time I try to speak. I was crying. Ashton looked back up at me "Lexie-Lynn, please, please say something." He begged, taking my small hand in his large one. I looked up, staring him dead in the eye. His eyes that were threatening to spill over with tears. 

        "Ash, I am overjoyed for you, this could be it. But that doesn't mean that I'm not scared or angry or sad because believe I am a raging storm of all of those right now, but I've always known this day would come and it finally has. And I'm proud." I choked out and then... 

        I woke up, sitting upright in my bed with a start. That dream, it felt so real. My heart was racing and I could tell by the tightness of my cheeks and the smell of salt that I had been crying. I quickly got out of bed and walked over to my mirror, and confirmed that I had been crying. Tracks from tears ran down my cheeks from my eyes.  

        Why, what was this dream? There were too many questions swimming around in my head that I decided to relax by taking a shower. I must have thought about what Ashton said last night more than I thought I did I think to myself as I climb into the shower.  

        The cold water hits my body, feeling wonderful on my heated skin. It wakes me and my senses up and I just start to enjoy it when I remembered, it's Monday. It is a Monday and I have school. I quickly turned the shower off and wrapped myself in a towel before running to my room. Unfortunately I slipped on the hardwood with my wet feet and I went crashing to the ground, landing on my tailbone.  

        I pick myself up and swore under my breath "why does everything bad happen to me?" before quickly resuming my previous activities of racing to my room to put my uniform on. My school uniform consists of grey shorts and a white button down with a striped tie. I dressed quickly and left my hair in its natural tangle of curls because it was still wet but I grab an elastic band for later. 

        I quickly grab some white ankle socks and grab my old beat up Converse. I glance at my alarm clock as I am grabbing my backpack. It reads 7:49, if I leave now I will make it right on time. So I do just that, I leave my locked house and start speed walking to school. God I hate Mondays. 

        After my first two classes of the day, I had lunch. Unlike most people at my school, I hate lunch time. I have hated it since Ashton graduated because now I have no real friends to sit with. Normally I find some acquaintances and I will sit with them. Unfortunately they ignore me the whole time, so I basically sit with them so I don't look like a complete loner. 

        However I didn't want to sit with anyone today, I felt like chilling by myself at an empty table at the back of the cafeteria, listening to music. I was walking over to an empty table when my phone vibrated. I carefully maneuvered around my lunch to grab my phone, hoping I don't drop anything. I had a text from Michael.  

Michael Bartholomew: Hey! Come sit with me and Luke and Cal at our table! 

        For some reason I was a bit hesitant in replying. I really wanted to join them, they were my friends but I didn't want to intrude if they have other friends that they sit with. I decided, what the hell, maybe I will make some more friends. I quickly texted Michael back. 

Lexie Penelope ;): Sure, where are you guys? 

        He replied almost immediately. 

Michael Bartholomew: Okay, so turn around and walk to the back corner, opposite you.  

        I looked up from my phone and turned around like instructed and there they were. Luke, Calum and Michael were sitting at a table in the back corner, by themselves. I smiled and walked over to them, excited.