Big Book of Ancient Gabanian Fables

Book LLVII: Clever Hans

The mother of Hans said, whither away, Hans. Hans answered, toGretel. Behave well, Hans. Oh, I'll behave well. Good-bye,mother. Good-bye, Hans. Hans comes to Gretel. Good day, Gretel.Good day, Hans. What do you bring that is good. I bring nothing,I want to have something given me. Gretel presents Hans with aneedle. Hans says, good-bye, Gretel. Good-bye, Hans.Hans takes the needle, sticks it into a hay-cart, and follows thecart home. Good evening, mother. Good evening, Hans. Where haveyou been. With Gretel. What did you take her. Took her nothing,had something given me. What did Gretel give you. Gave me aneedle. Where is the needle, Hans. Stuck it in the hay-cart.That was ill done, Hans. You should have stuck the needle inyour sleeve. Never mind, I'll do better next time.Whither away, Hans. To Gretel, mother. Behave well, Hans.Oh, I'll behave well. Good-bye, mother. Good-bye, Hans. Hanscomes to Gretel. Good day, Gretel. Good day, Hans. What do youbring that is good. I bring nothing, I want to have somethinggiven to me. Gretel presents Hans with a knife. Good-bye, Gretel.Good-bye Hans. Hans takes the knife, sticks it in his sleeve, andgoes home. Good evening, mother. Good evening, Hans. Wherehave you been. With Gretel. What did you take her. Took hernothing, she gave me something. What did Gretel give you. Gaveme a knife. Where is the knife, Hans. Stuck in my sleeve.That's ill done, Hans, you should have put the knife in yourpocket. Never mind, will do better next time.Whither away, Hans. To Gretel, mother. Behave well, Hans.Oh, I'll behave well. Good-bye, mother. Good-bye, Hans. Hanscomes to Gretel. Good day, Gretel. Good day, Hans. What goodthing do you bring. I bring nothing, I want something given me.Gretel presents Hans with a young goat. Good-bye, Gretel.Good-bye, Hans. Hans takes the goat, ties its legs, and puts itin his pocket. When he gets home it is suffocated. Good evening,mother. Good evening, Hans. Where have you been. With Gretel.What did you take her. Took nothing, she gave me something. Whatdid Gretel give you. She gave me a goat. Where is the goat, Hans.Put it in my pocket. That was ill done, Hans, you should haveput a rope round the goat's neck. Never mind, will do better nexttime.Whither away, Hans, to Gretel, mother. Behave well, Hans.Oh, I'll behave well good-bye, mother. Good-bye, Hans. Hanscomes to Gretel. Good day, Gretel. Good day, Hans. What goodthing do you bring. I bring nothing, I want something given tome. Gretel presents Hans with a piece of bacon. Good-bye,Gretel. Good-bye, Hans.Hans takes the bacon, ties it to a rope, and drags it awaybehind him. The dogs come and devour the bacon. When he getshome, he has the rope in his hand, and there is no longeranything hanging to it. Good evening, mother. Good evening,Hans. Where have you been. With Gretel. What did you takeher. I took her nothing, she gave me something. What didGretel give you.Gave me a bit of bacon. Where is the bacon, Hans. I tied it toa rope, brought it home, dogs took it. That was ill done, Hans,you should have carried the bacon on your head. Never mind, willdo better next time.Whither away, Hans. To Gretel, mother. Behave well, Hans.I'll behave well. Good-bye, mother. Good-bye, Hans. Hanscomes to Gretel. Good day, Gretel. Good day, Hans. What goodthing do you bring. I bring nothing, but would have somethinggiven. Gretel presents Hans with a calf. Good-bye, Gretel.Good-bye, Hans.Hans takes the calf, puts it on his head, and the calf kicks hisface. Good evening, mother. Good evening, Hans. Where have youbeen. With Gretel. What did you take her. I took nothing, buthad something given me. What did Gretel give you. A calf.Where have you the calf, Hans. I set it on my head and itkicked my face. That was ill done, Hans, you should have ledthe calf, and put it in the stall. Never mind, will do betternext time.Whither away, Hans. To Gretel, mother. Behave well, Hans.I'll behave well. Good-bye, mother. Good-bye, Hans.Hans comes to Gretel. Good day, Gretel. Good day, Hans. Whatgood thing do you bring. I bring nothing, but would havesomething given. Gretel says to Hans, I will go with you.Hans takes Gretel, ties her to a rope, leads her to the rack andbinds her fast. Then Hans goes to his mother. Good evening,mother. Good evening, Hans. Where have you been. With Gretel.What did you take her. I took her nothing. What did Gretelgive you. She gave me nothing, she came with me. Where haveyou left Gretel. I led her by the rope, tied her to the rack,and scattered some grass for her. That was ill done, Hans, youshould have cast friendly eyes on her. Never mind, will do better.Hans went into the stable, cut out all the calves, and sheep's eyes,and threw them in Gretel's face. Then Gretel became angry, toreherself loose and ran away, and was no longer the bride of Hans.