Blunt

Namjoon

"Joon-ah?"
Thats the word that I have been desperately waiting to hear.
"Ahh.. So you remember me? What a thrill it would have been to remind you of the wonderful times of past." I push Jin into the apartment.
As I cross the threshold and step into his house of 3 years and take in my surroundings, I immediately notice tiny things of our past together.
The vase that I gifted him on his 18th birthday sits proudly by the window on a desk. Our pictures together adorn various walls. It makes me so happy that he still cherishes our relationship.
A ray of hope that I might be able to patch things up with him shines brightly.
As my eyes move to the owner of the apartment, my spine chills.
There are fat tears rolling down his unblemished cheeks, his face and ears red. But he doesn't make a sound. His quiet sobs break my trance.
"Jin?"
"Shut up. And leave. Leave like you did 4 years ago. Go away. I dont want you here. Just go, Joon-ah. I cant go through this again. I would rather die..." His voice isn't loud. He doesn't shout. And thats what makes the words all the more effective. They pierce me, wreck me, dismember my soul.
I step closer to him. There is now only about an inch of space between us, but it is an inch more than I wish there to be.
"Jin." I let out a huge breath.
He moves away and turns.
I grab his arm. "Where are you going?"
He wipes his tears angrily with his free hand, "I need my glasses, you dumb idiot."
I flush, and let his arm go. "Dont insult me, if you aren't ready to handle the consequences." I warn him.
He returns a few minutes later.
I have helped myself to a beer from his fridge, and settled deeply into the couch.
As he walks back into the room, he just shakes his head and sits on the seat in the corner of the room.
It hurts that he chose the farthest seat possible from me. But I really cant blame him. I wouldn't sit close to myself if I were given a choice.
"Why have you come back?"
I sip my beer before replying, "To see you, of course!"
"Don't play coy with me Joon-ah. I have lost too much of myself crying over you. I cant handle you coming back, only to leave once again." His honesty and his intimidating gaze are enough to tell me, that I cant be elusive about my intentions.
I will have to lay bare myself to him, if there is any chance that he would accept my shitty, arrogant self again.
"Jin. The first thing I want to say is not what you would want to hear. But I need to say this. I love you. Still."
His eyes are like saucers. His jaw has dropped down, mouth open.
"You dont get to say that now, Namjoon."
He said my name, not Joon-ah. He doesnt believe me.
"Okay. Umm. Jin. For you to understand me, and my decision, I will have to tell you the whole story from scratch."
I say.
"And since it is long one, I hope you are comfortable in that chair." I flick my eyebrows.
Jin just sighs, and moves to sit on the couch.
He is next to me, and every cell in my body wants me to crawl and close the space between us.
My entire being wants to have some semblance of contact with him.