Blunt

Yoongi

I try to calm my heart. Hoseok is fine. He may have lost a lot of blood, and might have a broken nose, but he is fine. He is here.
I left him to sleep because I needed some time to think things over. I need some 'me' time.
Hoseok's always been good at hiding things from me. He easily lies through his teeth if he believes it will keep me from being hurt.
I used to find this trait of him endearing, but now it just annoys the fuck out of me.
He treats me as though I am a breakable doll. He hasn't ever considered the fact that I am capable of handling things myself.
It was not as if he has always been here.
I was getting by just fine before he came into the picture.
Fine, I admit, I may have been the reason behind Jin screwing up his relationship with Namjoon.
But the circumstances then and now are very different. I didn't know what kind of world I was living in, but now that my eyes are wide open to the ugly secrets of the dark alleyways, it would be hard for anyone to catch me in a compromising position again.
I will never allow Jin to have to give up anything else because of me.
I know he never blamed me for loosing Namjoon, but I can acknowledge the fact.
Jin tries to hide it, and he pretty much always does it well, but sometimes I can see the way he looks at Hoseok and me.
He longs for a relationship like ours. And I know he wonders sometimes what his life would've been like if Namjoon was in it...
I love Jin for never trying to throw our asses out of his apartment, even when we got clingy and showed a lil too much PDA than he was comfortable with.
I should talk to Jin. I know he must be upset with my outburst when I walked in the house to see the amount of blood on Hoseok's shirt.
I freaked out.. and took it out on him.
Ugh, I am an idiot.
I sit on the couch in the living room with a beer, and wait for Jin.
After what seems like eternity, Jin walks out of the tiny bathroom, hair wet, shirt sticking to his stomach and a towel thrown over his broad shoulders.
He really is handsome. I can never deny that.
I smile at him, and he smiles back, his eyes showing the relief.
He sits down next to me with a big thump, and I almost bounce out of my seat.
He laughs his squeaky laugh seeing me struggle to hold onto my beer.
"You just gotta do that every single time, dont you?" I squint my eyes at him.
To this, pulls my cheeks and then ruffles my hair.
I let him, because it'll only be a waste of energy to fight him over this.
After a few minutes of silence, Jin turns his head to me, and says in a single breath, "I am sorry that Hoseok got hurt. I dont know why you think it's because of me, but if its because I went to the school and was almost caught by a freaking gang member and then having the feeling of being followed for 3 days, and involving Hoseok into the matter, I promise I won't ever go to the school again."
It takes me a moment to process all of this, but as soon as I understand, "Oh, Jin. No. I dont actually blame you. I am happy, that you thought of telling Hoseok. It means you trust him. I am just sad with the outcome. But it wasn't your fault. I know you are a smart guy, so you also wouldn't have believed his lame excuse of some kid beating him up. But I appreciate your trust in him. And, I am sorry for shouting at you. I panicked when I saw Hoseok. I thought I was breaking apart when I saw him hurt."
My breathing turns heavy as I remember my panic.
Jin puts a hand around my shoulders and his warmth comforts me.
Jin is always able to comfort me. I dont know how he does it, but he is the most calm person I have ever seen.
He starts humming after a bit, and I rest my head on his shoulder and drift off to sleep.