Twelve uses of dragon blood

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Minerva was in her office when she heard a knock, followed by Severus Snape entering the room. She couldn't remember the last time when he visited her.

"Minerva," he said in his usual monotone voice, "if you've got the time, I'd like to discuss one of your students."

She invited him in but he refused to sit down and instead, loomed in the doorway.

"What can you tell me about Merlin Ealdor?"

She linked her hands on her lap. Dumbledore would've been a better person to answer questions about the young wizard but Severus might not know that.

"He's mostly quiet in class, doesn't cause trouble although he can be mildly arrogant at times."

Severus' eyelid twitched. "I assure you, he's capable of causing trouble. What is your opinion on his magical skill?"

"Rather mixed. He performs very poorly in my class, needs tutoring to get through each spell. But as I learned, he's skilled at other magic disciplines."

His eyelid twitched again. "Such as?"

"He performs acceptably in other classes, but also, he practices unorthodox methods of magic. You're probably aware that he's a practitioner of Old Religion."

"Same as the Nix twins."

"Yes, but actually more. There is a magic aspect to it which he seems to be skilled at. I've attended their meeting and was both impressed and concerned about it."

Severus gazed at her intently and she couldn't take the suspense anymore.

"Will you tell me where this sudden interest comes from?"

"I can't make heads or tails of him." The way his eyelid kept twitching was distracting. "As detention punishment, I asked him to write me two essays on the fly and he produced the best-written paper I have ever seen. And just when I started thinking that maybe he's a lot smarter than he lets on, he delivers me this joke."

He pulled out a rolled-up parchment from his robes and threw it on her desk. As she reached for it, he continued, "So, brilliant on some topics, a moron in others which seems to match what you're saying."

Minerva unrolled the parchment and started reading.

Blood is a specialized bodily fluid which is crucial to the survival of the creature it belongs to. Dragons, like many other creatures, rely on it in the following twelve ways.

"What is this?" she asked, not following why Severus would assign this type of essay.

"It's supposed to be an essay on twelve uses of dragon blood."

Minerva dived back in.

The first and most important use of dragon blood is to keep the dragon alive. Losing this precious combination of plasma and cells would be detrimental to the owner's health and must be avoided at all costs.

The second such use is keeping said dragon happy. There is no nicer feeling than the feel of healthy blood running through the dragon's veins. Any dragon questioned about this, would confirm this observation.

Minerva wasn't sure what to think about this. This essay seemed to be a parody of Dumbledore's book on the uses of dragon blood. But she was compelled to keep reading.

The third such use is to circulate essential substances throughout the dragon's body. While blood carries oxygen and nutrients, it also carries the dragon's magic. Proper distribution of magical plasma ensures the dragon stays powerful and mighty enough to defeat any wizard or Muggle who tries to harm her.

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