Discovering Time

Anita

I ignored my missing period at first. Then a whole two months went by. I was lured by the thought that, wherever Robert was, he was there looking for me. Which, looking back, seems stupid. To think a man whom I had so little chemistry with would risk his life to go looking for me.

I had been making trips to the fields with other women, gathering what we could find to eat. Every time, as we traveled, we would go to a new place. I would scour the terrain for the potential hazards. At one point, we came to a clearing. Hot sulfur pulsated from the ground far away, until a giant stream poured overhead. I was made very aware that having gone closer to these areas would have spelled my death. I collected food all the while, stockpiling it away from camp. 

It was then I became Chief Joseph's favorite, and began to resent his increasing affection. Winning his favor lost me the support of the women in the tribe. His attention is vital for the women to keep their children safe. Favorite wives have daughters and sons that are given rank in other tribes of the Nez Pearce, out of what is this polyamorous nightmare. Having the Chief's singular attention meant that they would talk about taking action, and when they would notice the pregnancy - let's just say I wouldn't last too long. 

It was one night when the moon was rising over the field that I made haste to the woods. 

The Nez Pearce know these woods, I reminded myself, so I pushed myself faster than my slight pregnancy would want to permit. Mothering instinct aside, I know this wasn't the life I wanted for my baby and I. I knew that we would have no choice of surviving - that the Chief would have no sympathy for child with European features - people would start asking questions. 

I was somewhere in the middle of this run that I heard the rumbling of the ground. My heart leaps in panic. I start to run very fast, my bruised feet beating against the ground. It was then that I made it to another field, full of Bison, that swarmed around me. They didn't seem to mind that I was there. Exhausted, I fall into the field asleep.