Here

Still Here

Yes, he made a promise to come back. I have been waiting for him here in this very spot ever since. And that promise was made 3 years ago.

I never went to the park again after the day he left until a year after - on the day that he had set. It was saturday that day, so I went to the park early.

I was so happy seeing the park again after a year. And this time I get to visit it during my favorite season. Autumn! I love how the color of the leafs changes from green into orange, brown, and even red! But besides that, I was elated also because I finally got to meet my best friend again. I smiled thinking of it while touching the twig ring given by him that I wore as a necklace.

I sat on the bench with a navy-blue colored box complete with its silver bow beside me and a book that I loved about my all-time favorite detective Sherlock Holmes. Inside the box is a long broken-white scarf which was personally knitted by me. It was a present for him. So here I waited for him.

Hours past by and there was still no sign of him. I look around and at my watch feeling uneasy. A few minutes later a drop of water fall onto a page of my book. I closed the book and looked up the sky. Another drop of water fall - this time - onto my face. Drops after drops of water fall down as if falling rhythmically to a music. Soon enough it was raining though not hard. I quickly put my book and the box inside my bag and ran to the tree for shelter although drops of rain can still fall onto me with the tree loosing some of its leaves.

The park visitors ran around seeking for shelter and going home. Others open up their umbrellas. My gaze directed me to a couple who was opening up their umbrella. The man pulled his woman closed to his side hugging her tightly with one arm while his other hand holds the umbrella.

"Is he really not coming?" I mumbled to myself.

"Did he forget his promise?"

"No no! It can't be.
He must be on his way now.
Maybe there is heavy traffic from airport to here.
Yes! Especially with the rain."

My own words of comfort did not really comfort me. I was starting to get drenched and it was getting dark.

"Wait a little more, Haewon," I said to myself gripping the twig ring hung around my neck.

The trickling sound of the falling drops of rain became a music to my ear. Though i was drenched, I wasn't bothered by how my body is starting to get chills from the blowing wind. Instead, I take out one arm with palm facing the sky and enjoyed the drops of rain that kisses the skin of my palm. Then I looked up and the rain kisses my face as if it misses me the way I miss Eustace.

It was night by the time the rain came to a halt.

Shivering after the rain and with head hanging down, I hugged myself and whispered while closing my eyes, "wait a little more, Haewon-ah. He's coming." I grip the ring again as if I'm gripping for dear life.

- a few minutes later -

"Haewon-ah!"
Suddenly a voice called my name. The sound was very faint indicating that the person was still far away.

I lifted my head trying to figure out whose voice it was. Was it Eustace?

"Haewon-ah! Yoo Haewon!"
The voice gets clearer as the person was getting closer, and i realized whose voice it was.

It was my dad's.

"Ya Haewon-ah!" My Dad shouted and holding an umbrella ran to me once he found me.

"Dad!" I smiled, but at the same time I was also holding my tears.

"Are you crazy? What are you doing here? We were worried because you haven't come home"

I could only smile again. Not knowing what to answer, I hugged my dad and apologized for making my parents worry.

"I'm sorry I make you worry," I said it softly almost like I was whispering. Even softer, I repeated, "I'm sorry" hugging my dad even tighter and resting my head on his chest.

"It's okay," my Dad replied. He hugged me tight with one warm while the other hand held the umbrella over me. He then caress my hair gently. I got even more teary-eyed, but I still tried to force a smile.

"Let's go home!" He told me.

Forcing another smile, I nodded in agreement.

The next day I caught a cold (of course!) and had to spend the rest of the day at home.

I lied on my bed with runny nose and sore eyes and used tissues scattered around my bed. I couldn't even open my eyes properly. I laid sideways and glanced at the bag lying beside my bed. I slowly got up from the bed and walked to the bag. The cold made my head feel heavy to be lifted. But I got up anyway with one hand on my forehead as if doing it help resist the sudden dizziness. I took the present box out of my bag and let out a sigh.

I stare at the box for what seems like hours. Memories of me and Eustace playing snowball fight, building a snowman, eating ice cream at the park, lying on the lush green grass, confessing our feelings, and making promise to meet again danced in my mind. Tears started rolling on my cheeks and fell on top of the box.

Did he really forget?

*back to present*

Yes I still come to this place, but not every last Saturday. Instead, I come here every Saturday.

Why? - you may ask. Well...let's just say sometimes there are memories that you just can't forget no matter how much you have tried and want to. Besides, it's actually not a nightmare-kind of memory that still lingers in my mind. It's the sweet kind one. The one that though sometimes brings ache to my heart -- knowing that he has not fulfilled his promise - but at most times paints a smile on my face when I think about it.

Initially, I still come to the park in hope that Eustace will come. But after 3 years of waiting, I come here because I love to. I come because of the park itself. But I can't lie. Deep down in my heart I do still hope he will come.