Diary of a One Sided Lover | JJK FF | (Completed)

I like you

Dear Diary,

Finally done with my exams!

School has closed for summer break and my life lately has been k-drama days and FF nights..

Don't get me started on Mom... she's going crazy over my obsession with dramas and FFs..

Dad and Jin have made some vacay plans..

Can't wait to swim, tan myself, take a nap in a hammock...

Mentally almost getting there

Well, the last day of school was great.

We had a mini gathering, Jungkook was present too. He usually never engages in such gatherings but his presence made me feel happy.

I have been trying to figure out my feelings towards him and can only conclude by stating I have started liking him.

Yes..

I do...

But NOBODY knows about it.

Between us, okay? I trust you and that you won't let this out.

This feeling is bewildering..

Like what do I do with these feelings now?

I know... I can't curb these feelings..

But what about the bitter truth that Jungkook doesn't love me.. and these feelings have no future!

I feel ecstatic and miserable at the same time...

Ecstatic about these butterflies fluttering in my tummy and miserable knowing that I can't do anything about it...

Everything that I do reminds me of him..

Romantic scenes, songs, his radiant smile, mischievous flirty eyes, the way he talks, the chocolate surprise, the playful canteen scene.. enough!

We just need to stop these feelings before they start taking over making me look like another Jeon fan girl.

How did I even end up in all this..

Oh yes! brownie points to my Professor, Lisa, Rose for if it wouldn't be my professor I wouldn't have cross paths with Jeon

Lisa and Rose for successful teasing for without their teasing this feelings would haven't been born.

I blame all this teasing!

I hate the thought of liking someone I'd least expect to.

Mentally training myself to just skip all these thoughts.

While I am writing here... there is Jungkook's memory distracting me..

The same chocolate lying opposite me on the table..

Now you see how the struggle is real

This is one of the few chocolates I like eating..

I was thinking of giving up on eating this brand?!

One of the way to eliminate him from my thoughts...

I have already told you that there are rumours of Jungkook dating some 'beautiful' girl

The reason why I am cribbing so much is that I wouldn't like to be pulled or dragged into someone's story like a wretch

Absolutely fair enough!

Being a girl, I can understand the insecurities of another girl liking her guy

Moreover I will never want my feelings betwixt any relationship.

Dating, marriage, love all these things have a huge significance in my life I can't express in words what they mean to me.

To me dating isn't a one time thing, it's a life time investment and dating someone I love for a while followed
by breakup...?

It kills to even think about it...

There are people who date today and tomorrow it's all over.. hell no!

For me it's growing old together it may sound cliché but that's what love means to me. I don't have the courage to go and confess my feelings. I am a coward.

I can't face rejection...I mean, who can?

I would prefer to keep all these feelings bottled up.

Of course it will hurt, yes I have tears in my eyes right now feeling hurted that I can't get the person I love.

I am just a call away from expressing my feelings.

It also happens that I type all my feelings and then what happens is my thumb goes to the backspace key and all of it is erased.

Why can't erasing feelings be this easy?

I really wish in this coming semester I don't have him in my class. So things will go easy for me, I won't be reminded of my feelings.

It's getting time for dinner

I'll see you after I'm back from my vacation.

Love
Y/N