Our Maknae | 1

prolouge

"H-hello!" One word. All you just had to say was hello. How nervous could you be around one person? Park Jisoo, she was 2-3 years my senior. We had met each other thanks to me almost spilling my ice cream cone on her. I had an hour before my Korean lessons and my mom had brought me to the nearby park to get me ice cream. Her laughing at how many times I said sorry had gained the attention of our families and for the rest of the hour, my mom had become friends with Jisoo's and Jisoo and I the same.

We both did our best at understanding each other. Me speaking in konglish while Jisoo tried her best to speak in all the English she knew. Yeah our sentences lasted about four words max but hey, it was better than speaking in silence. At this time I only knew English and Tagalog and the tiniest bit of Korean. She wasn't that bad in English actually for how much she knew.

By the time I had left to go to my class. You could say that Jihyo and I were already as close as two people who couldn't speak the same language can be.

"Bye!" Jisoo called out to me in English and when I turned my head while I walked forwards, holding hands with my mom, I saw her waving at her.

"Bye!" I told back to her in Korean and waved back.

When I turned 9, I was pretty fluent in Korean but it took a long while for me to get there. God knows my mind couldn't handle English in the first place let alone Tagalog and Korean at the same time.

But after one of my best friends, Taehyun left for Canada, there were a new batch of trainees that had come in the later year. To say it was easy getting to know them all, having to learn a complete new language and getting used to the country, it was the biggest overstatement I could ever make.

"I'm Jeongyeon!" The girl with the black haired ponytail introduced herself to Jisoo and I after our first lessons together.

"I'm Jisoo!" Jisoo introduced herself. Then it was my turn. Damn, I really hoped she hadn't noticed me. Jisoo was taller than me during this time so I had made it a habit almost to hide behind her.

"And this is Y/N!" Jisoo introduced me, knowing I wouldn't do it in a million years. I looked at Jeongyeon before waving shyly at her. It's not like I didn't like Jeongyeon, she was okay. It's just, if I didn't know them, they have to be the one to speak up, it was just how it was with me always. I know I'm an introvert so just bare with me.

Then Nayeon came, and when I first saw her, she seemed... confident. I wasn't too bothered by it. I didn't mind it whenever she'd 'brag' about herself and sometimes I'd smile at just how random at times she'd compliment herself. No one wasn't really bothered by it much and the whole high self-esteem really helped her gain an affinity with most people inside the company.

Miyoung was great, and she was already in the line up for the debuting group with Nayeon, Jisoo and Jeongyeon. Others would be jealous of them but I was quite proud of all of them. I must admit though, when I told my aunt about this, needless to say it almost gave her a heart attack. But who's she to judge. Thanks to the overbearing pressure of my relatives and now with the added pressure from my trainers, I eventually decided that I wasn't good enough to debut.

Somehow, Jisoo read me like a book and was able to figure out why just then I started to slack off. But when the news of a new survival show for a new girl group started to rise, Jisoo made it her mission to get me involved. And she succeeded.

God, I remember Sixteen. How awful but how incredible it was at the same time.

"Jihyo? Eonnie? It feels weird calling you that now.." I said to Jisoo- Jihyo, I mean. She had just told me the news of her legally changing her name. It was going to take a few days, correcting myself to call her Jihyo from now on but it's not like she's turned into a complete different person. She's always been the Park Jisoo I know and love since that day in the park, where I almost spilt ice cream on her. Just now, she'll be the Park Jihyo I know and love since that day in the park, where I almost spilt ice cream on her.

"It's okay, you can still call me Jisoo as a nickname." Jihyo... I have to get used to this.

After what felt like the most gruelling three months I ever spent, I finally could take a rest when I found out just how lucky I was to make it in the final team. Despite the happiness I shared with Jisoo when we made it into the final team together, I never stopped looking back at those who didn't make it. And even the night after the show ended, not a single thought about Twice had entered my mind. Only just what if's and the reoccurring question that is, 'did I deserve it?'

When we first debuted, I always faced some type of discrimination for being a foreigner. During Like Ooh-Ahh era, I was discriminated for how different my skin looked compared to all the other girls simply because I wasn't 'pale enough'.

Man, it was just a bad era with all those comments. There were moments during it that some people online would go out of their way to make my face look lighter and tell me to look happy now because I finally became a full Korean, assuming that I'm jealous of them and trying to be them even though that was never the case in the first place. When I understood it, it left a dent in me and it took me a long time to get rid of it.

After the hate finally calmed down (it never stopped but it was a bit more toned down. But just because it toned down doesn't mean it got any better) Jeongyeon was named girl crush, but fans believed I should've gotten the title instead. It wasn't like I tried to. Some fans just thought I looked the best in more masculine type of clothing. I wouldn't blame them, even I was surprised at how good I can look in them.

I was worried people would make fun of me for it but actually others liked the way I dressed myself and how I am. Sometimes I wear dresses, sometimes I don't. It's not that I hate them, they're just sometimes a lot of work so I just wear suits for formal events instead. Heels? Could wear but after half an hour or if I really needed to, an hour, I'm tossing them away.

Let me tell you, when Mina entered the company, she was a breath of fresh air. She was popular among the male trainees and the female trainees all didn't feel like approaching her because the side eye that girl had would kill anyone.

Momo, the woman that shook the company with her dancing even before debut. If you wanted someone to look up to for their dancing, it was Momo. Everyone wanted to be as good as Momo and no one ever came close to her ability.

Sana, well she was an interesting girl. She was very cute indeed, and okay I may have focused on her more than I should've whenever I had the same lessons with her. Her personality was just the cherry on top for me. Perhaps I was being obvious with how much I liked her considering Jeongyeon would always nudge me whenever she walked in the room before lessons.

Dahyun, I never really talked to her much since she always hung out with Chaeyoung and Somi. Those three were unstoppable as a trio. One of the things I admired most about her was how dedicated she was to her faith. It wasn't common to see a lot of idols as dedicated to their faith as Dahyun was so it was also a nice breath of fresh air.

When Chaeyoung came, it was like my eyes had opened to a new world. When I heard of her, being a rapper who wrote her own lyrics, I swore that she was a YG trainee before coming to JYP. Of course I also wrote my own lyrics but none of them were raps. To see an ace like Chaeyoung only motivated me more to be the same. I knew then that whether she was in a group or she was solo, she was going to shine bright as an artist.

Now Tzuyu, she was a constant reminder of my roots. She had come to South Korea at such a young age and she knew nothing about the culture nor the language. I remember our friendship having started with a deal. I teach her Korean and she teaches me Mandarin. Despite the huge learning curve we went through, we went through it together and were able to overcome multiple language barriers. Good thing I was quick to pick up on things and for her, she was one of, if not, the most hardworking woman I know and she always will be in my eyes.

Oh, forgot to add. I'm a lesbian. The girls and the company knows but I'm not out to the country 'cause God knows how the country will treat me. Anyways, it's about time that we should get on with the story.

Author's POV

This is my first time writing a story in like 2? 1 year? Oh well, I never really write and publish something like this.

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this story.

Update

As of August 2022, I'm rewriting this story just by proofreading and editing it so it flows a bit better (and isn't totally cringe half the time). So if some chapters look unpolished compared to some earlier ones, it means I've yet to edit them.