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Isla's pov.
For some odd reason I just sigh and decide to take my chances.
"Fine," I say before opening the door and getting out of the car. I don't wait for Billie and just walk into my house with my taco bell in one hand and my dead phone in the other. I walk up to my bedroom and set the food down on the bed and plug my phone in my nightstand before I hear someone enter my room.
"Did you lock the door behind you?" I ask. She nods in reply before sitting on the left side of the bed, leaving room for me on the right. The awkward tension in the room is so thick I could cut it with a knife, so instead of dwelling on it I grab my burrito and start to unwrap it.
Billie does the same and we start to eat in silence before it's broken.
"I hate this," Billie suddenly says after she swallows her bite.
"Hate what?"
"How awkward we're being. I hate how I fucked up to the point where you don't trust me and think I'm unreliable. I hate that you were left stranded at the hospital stressed with no one to help you because I was being immature. I also hate how I fe-" she suddenly cuts herself off not wanting to continue while her eyes avert my gaze. I decide not to pressure her into continuing.
"Tell me something,"
"What?" she asks.
"If you want trust you have to give some away," (if you get this reference i lub you)
She nods her head in response before coming her fingers through her hair and parting it to the side.
"I have depression and tourettes," she suddenly says before continuing.
"A lot of people know about it, including my little babies but sometimes it gets really bad. I've been so in my head lately. My tics are getting worse even though I try to control them and my mind is getting worse and sometimes I just feel like I can't breathe,"
"Sorry I know that was a lot to just suddenly dump on you," she apologizes while playing with her hands. I throw my burrito wrapper in the bag before shifting towards the middle spreading my legs a bit. She looks up at me with a confused expression and I just pat the spot in between my legs. She cautiously complies and sits in between my legs, while I rest my back against the headboard and she lays her head on my stomach. My fingers subconsciously comb through her hair and she sighs in response.
"I don't deserve you," she says softly.
"Keep talking," I grab our bags and we continue to eat while she talks about how she feels and while I help her understand the feelings she can't express. In a way, hearing her helps me relax and forget about the troubles waiting for me.
"Thank you,"
"For what,"
"Listening," I bend over a bit and kiss her forehead before gathering our trash.
"I'm gonna throw this away and take a shower because I feel icky," I say while she sits up so I can shift off the bed.
"You were supposed to be showering and sleeping and I started bothering you with my problems," Billie sighs.
"You weren't bothering me. I asked and I listened because I wanted to bozo. But anyway, try not to run away while I'm gone," I joke while a small smile creeps onto her face. I throw the food away in the trash can I have by my desk. Then I make my way to the bathroom and close the door behind me before I turn on the water and I strip off my clothing. I leave them on the floor to pick up later and hop into the shower feeling the warm water hit my skin. I just take a moment to breathe while I'm in here and after I scrub away all the dirt feel clean enough I shut the water off and grab my towel. After I dry myself off I apply some coco butter lotion to my skin for some moisture before I realize I didn't bring any clothes to change into.
Damn it.
I just wrap my towel around myself again and then pick up the dirty clothes off of the floor. When I open the door I see Billie facing towards the other side of the room while on her phone. I throw my dirty clothes into the hamper and she turns around at the sound. She looks me up and down before subconsciously biting her lip. I roll my eyes at her and another smile creeps onto her face.
"Turn around so I can change perv," she pouts in response before laughing and turning back around. I slip on an oversized t-shirt not bothering to put on anything else so I'm not too hot. I decide to grab the remote and change the lights to an orange red and play some Sabrina on the speakers.
"Scoot your ass over Eilish," I say and she scoots to the other side. I turn my head to look at the clock on my stand and see it's already 8 o'clock meaning we've been talking for hours. I check my phone to see if there are any updates from the hospital but there aren't so there's no point going back tonight when they won't let me see her anyway.
Billie sets her phone down on the other stand and she sits up taking off her hoodie. She has an oversized shirt on as usual so she decides to take off her sweatpants and also pulls out her bra. She lays back on the bed closer to me this time with her face inches from mine.
"Can I stay over tonight?" she asks softly in a shy tone.
"Of course you can," I reply looking into her crystal eyes.
"Can I ask you something Isla?"
"What's up?"
"Be honest with me. Is this just platonic or just a joke to you? Or do you feel something?" she questions with something behind her eyes I can't decipher.
"Billie I...I just,"
"Nevermind," I see a hint of sadness behind her eyes but she just shakes her head softly. That's when I know she feels something even though she's been trying to deny it.
And I want her like she wants me.
"Well you should go to sleep," she says before turning her body the other way. I scoot closer and wrap my arm around her body while I'm basically pressed against her.
"Isla I-"
"Shhhh," I whisper in her ear. Sabrina's voice continues to fill the room while my leg goes in between both of hers and my fingertips glide against her thigh. I start to pepper soft kisses on her neck and her breathing speeds up a tiny bit. She moves my leg from between hers and shifts so she's facing me again with confusion in her expression. My eyes flicker between her pretty eyes and her soft looking lips and the palm of my hand rests on her cheek. I start to lean in slowly
