Tamed

Chapter Twenty-Three: All For Us

Charlotte

(Present Day)

Even though I promised myself that I wouldn't—I went to the dance studio today.  It's hard to describe the feeling that dancing gives me, but I can't stay away from it.  Jen was beyond excited to have me on board and it made me feel good.  But I know it will make it harder to leave in a couple of months.  That's why I haven't decided if I'm going to tell Ollie or not.

            He's making the boundaries I've set already seem muddy.  I probably have a lot to do with that too, but it's because of the way he's acting.  It's like he wants things to be the way they used to be.  As if they weren't completely unhealthy and toxic for both of us.

            I know I shouldn't have left the way I did, but I knew if I didn't I never would. I'd stay here and hold onto to someone who wouldn't do the same for me.  He'd remain selfish and never have a reason to change.  I still don't know if he did.  Everyone appears redeemed when they're desperate.

            That's why I've been trying to stay busy.  For most of the afternoon I've rearranged the remaining furniture in my gram's living room so I could set up mirrors and clear a space so I can practice. There wasn't much, but now I can do a full turn without knocking over a floor lamp.

            My primary style of dance has always been contemporary ballet.  It's not exactly something you can slack on either. I always had to be very strict with my body and it wasn't easy.  Especially with a best friend like Ollie.  He's like a professional snacker and still maintains an absurd five percent body fat.  He can't be human.

            I'm in middle of stretching when the door bell rings.  Immediately I glance down at my yoga pants and sheer tank top. It's going to be hard to keep Ollie from touching me in this outfit.  He used to love my dance costumes.  There was a time when it was my favorite way to celebrate a successful recital.

            With a deep breath, I walk toward the door.  Confusion creases my brow when I pull it back to a face I didn't expect.

            "Liam.  What are you doing here?"

            He gives an uneasy smile, shoving his hands in his front pockets.  "Uh, I heard you were still in town.  I thought I'd stop by."

            "Yeah," I say, my smile guilty.  "I was meaning to get ahold of you.  It was unexpected."

            "I guess so.  You looked like you were expecting someone else."

            When I pause, the look on his face makes me feel worse.  But before I can speak, he laughs.

            "I'm sorry, this is stupid, right?"  He shakes his head and takes a step back.  "I don't know what I was thinking."

            "No, it's not stupid."  I push the screen door open and step out onto the porch.  "I was just surprised to see you.  I'm sorry."

            He glances away for a moment.  No doubt remembering the proximity of me and a certain someone who's also trying to rewrite the past.

            Liam blows out a breath.  "Look, I'm not trying to start anything with you.  I know you don't actually live here anymore, but I would like to a chance to talk.  It's been a really long time, but I don't like the last conversation we had."  His pauses, anguish flashing in his eyes.  "It still doesn't sit well with me."

            It's really horrible of me to admit, but I barely remember having a conversation with him.  That night will never be about us.  It was one hundred percent about me and Ollie.