popularity || sanders sides [DISCONTINUED]

21 | Veronica

no matter how much you want to believe it, the cady in this chapter is not cady from mean girls.

Chapter Twenty-One: Caving In
Veronica Heron

Sometimes, I wish my life was as amazing as Roman's. He had this wonderful family full of people who cared about him, meanwhile I had just about the equivalent of a peanut. Sure, his siblings were annoying at times but they still loved and supported him, something my parents and siblings never did for me.

I was born the middle child to Richard and Maggie Heron, with my older sister, Cady, being four years older than me, and my younger brother, Remy, three years younger than me. I don't even know why my parents wanted to have kids if they wouldn't even care for them. Half of the time while I was growing up, they'd leave Remy and I alone with Cady, who didn't know what to do since they hadn't prepared her to watch over two literal children.

And soon she moved away with her husband, Ivan Sawyer (who, by the way, she married at 19 so uh,) so there weren't many chances for me to get close to her after I was mature enough to realize that she might be the only one in my house who actually cared for me.

There weren't any specific events that shaped me into who I am today, but there are a few that helped out in putting my guard up. I learned that I couldn't trust anyone but myself, and if I couldn't care for myself, then I was truly helpless.

Until I met Roman, I hadn't really had a good life. He would bring me along to sleepovers and parties and even take me trick-or-treating with his brothers on Halloween, something my family never really did. He was the only one who actually remembered my birthday, the only one who realized when I was feeling low.

But popularity changed Roman, not by much, but it was still noticeable. He wasn't as kind as he used to be, and showed off his high school status to everyone he met. I never really thought that would happen to him of all people.

Still, he was nice enough to keep me around. I don't know why, though. He could've just abandoned me when he got high on the Repuchain, what we call the popularity system at our school, and got some other bitch to be by his side. And in some way, I feel like that just might happen.

I see the way he looks at Virgil like he's the most lovely thing in the world. I notice how he'll not even listen to what I have to say when Virgil's around. I know how he feels about him. And I want so badly to be happy for him, happy that he might just have someone to love, but I just can't.

It's honestly so cliche, but I wanted to be that someone. I knew that Roman only liked me as a friend, but I just held onto that hope that maybe he could change his mind. It's like they say; you can never get out of the Friend Zone.

So I buried that part of me that wanted to be with Roman in a romantic sense, figuratively burned it. I didn't need anyone in that way if they didn't need me. But I didn't want Roman to worry about me slipping away from the friendship if he didn't have to, so I pretended that everything was fine; I still told him everything. Well, everything except that.

Honestly, I didn't actually tell Roman everything, but when I didn't tell him there was always some way that he found out. For example, I hid from him that Dawson and I actually dated from fifth to seventh grade, but I left him because it was one of the most mentally abusive relationships I could ever be in. And even though I didn't tell Roman, he still found out about it in eighth grade that one day in the cafeteria.

I regretted ever keeping that from him. He probably could've helped me, but at the time I didn't want to take help from anyone. I thought I could handle it on my own, which is exactly how I felt about my now-dead feelings about Roman.

Not gonna lie, about every day in ninth grade, the year that I realized my feelings for my friend, I came home in tears, not just because freshman year sucked, but because I knew that he would never feel the same about me. To him, I was just his best friend who would always be there for him. That's fine. I can deal with it. I will forever be Veronica, the friend that's there for her friends when they need her.

—————

"You know who would've really enjoyed this?" Roman asked as we were getting our nails done. All while we were waiting for him to answer, I was thinking nothing but 'Please don't say Virgil.' I didn't want another thing to be all about Virgil.

"Virgil. I don't know if any of you've noticed, but he has his nails a different shade of purple or gray ever week and I love it. This would've—"

I cut him off, "Yeah. But I'm sure Virgil wouldn't feel like hanging out with us today. I didn't want to bother him—"

He cut me off this time, "I could call him when we finish our nails. I'm sure it wouldn't bother him as much as finding out that we hung out without even trying to invite him would."

Please don't.

"Okay! Yeah, do that. I'd love for Virgil to join us." I said, hoping that he couldn't detect the bitterness in my tone. Instead of focusing on the conversation, I went back to looking at my nails, which were about to get a top coat put on them. We were almost done, and soon the day wouldn't be dedicated to us having a good time, but for Roman to spend more time with Virgil.

And that was okay.

"Did you guys notice that recently Virgil's been getting a lot skinnier? It's hard to tell by getting a quick glimpse at him but if you look closely you can almost see the bones on his lower arms and legs and it's really worrying me." Roman said.

I had to say I was worried about him by hearing what Roman said, but also I wouldn't have minded if Virgil's legs got so skinny that they snapped and he had to spend some time in the hospital. But then Roman would spend more time there and not at school and—

What is wrong with me? I shouldn't wish that on anyone, no matter the circumstance...

It wasn't long before we were getting in the car, and I was excited to be able to sit by him for the whole ride. But of course, I wouldn't get to talk to him much because he was pulling out his phone and calling Virgil to ask if he wanted to hang out with us.

And of course, Virgil said yes.

So now here I was, driving to Virgil's house to ruin the rest of my day with my friends. It's not that I didn't want Roman to be happy, but if Virgil suddenly got hit by a blue Ford Focus and Roman had to find someone else to fall in love with, I wouldn't be complaining.

Oh my Jesus, how do I turn off my own thoughts?

When I stopped in front of his house, Roman reached into the backseat and pulled out a megaphone, the same one he had used after their day at Hot Topic, "Virgil!" He called with it. "Your Uber is here!"

Virgil then stepped out of the house, visibly annoyed in the playful way. He was about to get in, but first Roman got out of the front seat and told Remy he could have it, before he and Virgil jumped in the back by Patton.

And so continued possibly one of the worst days of my entire life.

—————

so uh,,,,,,,,,,,,,, v e r o n i c a is a fun character isn't she?

honestly, she may be a bit insensitive to virgil's feelings at some points but she's still my baby who came out of my brain and i love her and the development i have planned for her very, very much.

by the way, after this point i am no longer accepting questions for the qna since that will be the next update so if you haven't submitted any yet it's kinda too late,,

alright
thank y'all for reading!
-riv