I still love you | Maylor fanfiction

12

Roger's P.O.V.

I ran down the stairs to Brian's flat after knocking on his front door for minutes, until finally realizing he will probably be out on the streets playing, because of his nightmares. However, I didn't return into my van, even though my legs were weak and nearly collapsing under me, head spinning and blood dripping down from my ripped lip, I instead speed walked through the streets on my own.
For about an hour, I was searching through various streets of the part of London near to Brian's and partly also mine's apartment, the sun slowly starting to rise up. I haven't got a bit of sleep today, got terribly beaten up and I should head to school today, but still, I didn't slow down, my heart racing, never stopped.

Out of the blue, when I turned around a corner, his tall slender figure with massive curls caught my eye. Hope awaken in me again, smile spreading on my lips and I was ready to run to him and yell out his name, when I noticed the other person with him.
It was a young skinny woman, in a tight coat, light hair reaching her shoulders, a smile playing on her lips as she was looking up on Brian. They were holding hands, as if greeting, but for some reason, they didn't let go. They just kept on standing there, staring at each other.

With confusion, I frowned and continued on walking towards them.

When he bent down my heart missed a beat. I knew what was coming. I was sure. And it was going to break my heart.

He kissed her.

I stoped immediately, gasping for air as a fish out of water, as I couldn't believe my eyes, just as if my brain couldn't- didn't want to receive what just happened. My eyes widened in shock, I kept on eyeballing at them, I couldn't keep my eyes off them even though I knew it was so awkward to just stand there and watch them, and again, I started shaking. Horribly, as if I had sort of a panic attack. My jaws were clattering against each other, nausea squirming in my stomach, the taste of food I ate before coming up higher and higher in my throat.

I couldn't move a bit. I just stood still and watched things go on. I watched how they pulled apart, both their faces blushing. Watched how they said their goodbyes and how the blonde, with a giggle, left with a brisk walk, Brian dream fully looking behind her.
For some reason, I felt so betrayed. So much pain was eating me from inside, ripping my heart apart. I was so hurt. So goddamn much. Jealousy, harm, anger, selflessness and disguise all mixing in me- only ending up to create even bigger and harsher pain.

I was frozen in a trance when Brian turned around with a wide smile, looking up and noticing me. His expression changed as he saw me, smile fading away, being replaced with that worried face of his.
"Roger?" He walked up to me quickly, asking. "My god, what happened to you? Are you alright?"
His words sounded muted, faded, distant. I just couldn't hear them, couldn't understand them.
"W-what?" I whispered my lower lip trembling. I felt tears forming in my eyes. I was so angry at Brian, my heart was aching and I felt as if I couldn't get enough air in my lungs. I couldn't believe what he'd done. How could he?
"Are you hurt seriously? How did it happen?" He bombarded me with nonsense questions, taking me by the shoulders and exploring me from all sides and perspectives, while I only stood there still, zoned out, letting him act. What was he talking about?
"We should go to the hospital," he decided. "Come on, lets go," he reached his hand out to place it over my back so he could secure me.
"What? N-no..." I frowned, shaking my head, pushing his hand away slightly. I felt the one tear streaming down my face. But I didn't care if he saw it or not anymore. I didn't care about anything in the world at that moment.
"Come on Roger, lets go!" He insisted, reaching his arm out once more. "You're hurt!"

"NO!" I screeched, slapping his hand away, jerking myself and jumping away from him as a wave of aggression and panic ran through me. "NO! LET ME BE!" I continued on yelling, my voice jumping, as I was grabbing my head in hands, ripping my hair, tumbling away.
I could see the horrified expression of his.