I still love you | Maylor fanfiction

14

Brian's P.O.V.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to be there? Won't I... I don't know, disturb you or anything?"
I bent down with a smile, placing a quick soft kiss on her forehead.
"Of course not, my dear," I assured Esther, pulling her into a tight hug, her cheeks reddening. "Thanks to you, I will only play better. And after the show, we can go and have a drink with the guys, what do you think?"
"Okay," she giggled. "To be honest, I can't wait to meet them."
"And they can't wait to meet you," I replied, my arm around her waist, leading her to the entrance of the club. "Let's go."

Roger's P.O.V.

I gulped down the clear liquid, the feeling of alcohol running down my throat spilling warmth through my whole body, blurring my stressed and panicked mind. But that wasn't enough. With a sharp exhale I slammed the glass back down on the counter, reaching for the second glass, downing the precious vodka as well.
Nothing got better. Nothing will ever get better. I got shitfaced, and again, I ruined everything- my only chance to get help. Why the fuck would I do something stupid like bloody kissing Brian??!!! From that incident, over two months had passed, and there wasn't a day, wasn't a minute, when I wouldn't feel embarrassed, ashamed and questioned myself, what mental disease am I having.
When Brian came back that day, as he promised, to check whether I'm doing alright, I pretended I was asleep. I couldn't face him after what I did. What would I say? How would I explain? For the next few days, I avoided Brian. I was too scared. Later on, when we had a band practice, he didn't mention a word about it. So I didn't say a word either. Like this, he probably thought I got hammered and didn't even remember it. I wasn't sure whether that wasn't even worse.

Another empty glass joined the first one, as I grabbed the last, third one. Shots became my routine before every gig. Somehow, I managed to hide it from the boys, of course except Brian, and didn't get drunk before the show even started. We still had only small concerts in dark pubs, with only few people, and when I looked at what it did to me now, I was terrified of what will happen when we actually achieve something. Many times, I tried to stand up, make it without alcohol. But the states I got into every single time were simply unbearable.
And today, I didn't even try.

The girl I saw with Brian, moved from a complete stranger on to a much higher position in his life, his girlfriend. The past months, he nearly haven't stopped talking about her. He met her every day, always leaving the rehearsals and gigs early just to be with her. And tonight, she was going to visit our concert.
Even though I haven't met her yet, I already hated her. I couldn't stand meeting her, not only being in the same room with her. The fact that she was with Brian and he was happy with her, made me furious the second I thought about it. Now, he had less time to be with us, his annoying questions, worrying whether I'm fine, before every gig, got less frequent, and I kind of missed them. It felt as if he stopped caring about me. As if I scared him away.

My eyes widened as realization hit me. Ooh. He doesn't think I was drunk. He must think I'm gay and I have a crush on him, so he's avoiding me. Disgusted by me.

I groaned, finishing the last glass, rubbing my eyes, and leaving the money on the table. Well, it could possibly be an explanation, but it wasn't true. I wasn't gay. I did drink that night. It must have been the alcohol talking. Because if not, I really didn't know what I did, and why. And I was scared to think about it more, because of that little feeling in the back of my head, telling me that I might find out something that I didn't necessarily want to be true.

—————-

When I entered the small backstage room, I froze in the door frame. There he was, Brian, giggling stupidly, having his hand all around his girl, while they were both chatting with Fred and Deaky. That chick, smiling so sweet it made me sick, was as it seemed amazing everyone in the room as they had all their attention on her, laughing as the happiest people alive.
"Hey Rog! Are you alright?" A shout from John woke me up from the trance, making me step out of the door inside, closing them behind me as all the eyes turned to me. I looked down, still feeling uncomfortable around Brian, and really not sure whether I could play it cool around that bitch.
"Yea, hey," I mumbled going past them, pretending I'm searching for something in between all the music instruments laying around.
"You seem pale, are you sure you're okay?" Brian frowned. His voice convinced me to look up, which I immediately regretted as I saw that girl pushed against his body.
"Yeah I'm fine. Just-just a bit sick," I stuttered, making something up so they wouldn't get suspicious, again, avoiding any eye contact with them all, minding my own business.
"Hey Rog! Come here!" Freddie exclaimed with laughter when I turned my back on them again.
"Yeah, I would like you to meet someone," Bri chuckled nervously.
"Huh?" I turned around, facing them and pretending I haven't noticed that chick before. "Oh. Hi. Sorry, I haven't seen you there," I tried my best to let out a laugh and smile as if it didn't nearly kill me to only see her.
Her pink glossy lips parted into a wide smile, showing her perfect teeth as she reached her hand towards me.
"Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Esther," she looked into my eyes as an innocent angel, her cheeks blushing shyly. Staring at her hand, I wasn't able to answer as with that moment, a scene from earlier have appeared in my mind from my memory. A scene, when Brian and Esther were holding hands, leaning in afterwards, kissing.
Everyone started at me as I stayed silent, not moving a muscle, while she was still waiting with her arm out.

"Yeaaaa......," I finally got out of myself, looking to the ground. "I think I'm gonna puke."
I realized I'm just not able to do it, so with a quick lie, I turned around on my feet, rushing out of the room and heading towards the men's bathroom at the back of the club.

Freddie's P.O.V.

"Oh no, tonight's the drinks are on me," I announced, as we all sat together behind the counter of the bar. We had finished the gig about twenty minutes ago, already packed all of our stuff and because of Brian's girlfriend presence, we wanted to throw a small party and get to know her better. Seeing Brian so happy with her melted my heart, I never even knew he could be this happy. I was so glad for them- buying them drinks was the least I could do.
"Fred, you don't have to," The curly haired man smiled, hanging his arm around Esther's shoulders.
"But I can, dear," I objected, waving my hand on the bartender to come closer. "So shut your mouth and be grateful."
"What can I get for you?" The young girl asked us as she reached us on the other side of the desk.
"It will be one martini for me, and... Deaky, what will you have?"
"Um, just a beer, thanks," he ordered shyly with a smile.
"Okay, so one beer, Brian? Esther?"
"What will it be, my love?" Brian turned towards Esther, asking her. She shrugged her shoulders, blushing, as a cute princess. Brian did really have a taste in women. Esther seemed so pure and innocent, just a shy little girl, blushing over every compliment he gives her. Blonde locks and big green eyes, small figure... wait a minute. No. No. No, no, no. That is absolute nonsense. No. No, I've just made that up. That can't be- that's not- just no. No. It's coincidence. Nothing less, nothing more. Esther can't look suspiciously similar to Roger- it's just a simple coincidence.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud over my own mad thoughts, making all of the others look at me, concerned about my sudden outburst.
"You alright?" Speaking of the devil, Roger leaned out of his spot the furthest from the group to see me. Poor chap, he was still pretty pale, eye bags under his eyes and even though he would never admit it, I saw him shivering slightly, despite the hot atmosphere around.
"Yeah, yeah, I just remembered an old joke, sorry," I excused myself, hoping they wouldn't ask further so I wouldn't have to lie. "So, Esther?"
"I'll have a glass white wine, thank you," she answered quietly, facing her boyfriend again. "And you, dear?"
"I'm driving," he replied, throwing his hands up in the air. "I have to be the responsible one."
"Oh come on," she whined. "Have a drink! Sure someone else can drive. How about Roger? Would you mind driving tonight? Please!" She turned towards the drummer, hope shining in her eyes.
"I'm having a shot of vodka," he mumbled without even trying to sound positive. "Sorry," he added quickly.
"Roger," I stepped in. "You shouldn't be drinking when you're sick."
"Its good on the stomach," he defended himself.
"Oh sure it is," I smirked adding a last comment, but deciding to let it be. Because getting him into even a worse mood was only the best decision to make to ruin your evening, as he was able to be an incredible pain in the ass when he wanted.
"Okay, so one martini, one beer, glass of white vine and a vodka shot, is that right?" The bartender repeated our orders and we nodded in response.
"I'll be back in a minute," she walked off to get our drinks.

"So Esther. Brian told us a lot about you. He said you're studying to be a teacher, is that right?" John asked to start the conversation.

Roger's P.O.V.

I was sick. So sick. I've probably never felt worse in my entire life. In this state, there were seconds where I thought it would be better to die than continue like this, and I meant it seriously.
My stomach was turning inside out, I was freezing and sweating at once, and my head was spinning so madly I was about to pass out any second.

"So Esther. Brian told us a lot about you..." I heard John say. Oh yes he did. Loads and loads of stuff, all over and over as if she was some kind of a goddess. If I'd get a dollar for every time I've heard how amazing she is, how beautiful, how clever, I would be a billionaire three times already by now.

Soon the girl was back with our drinks, sliding me my shot over the counter. Quickly, without thinking, I downed the drink, leaving the conversation which was going on right next to me, and allowing myself to sink into the depth of pure cold alcohol.

Hello guys
There's a sneaky little secret Esther has, guess what 😏

Ohmygod thanks for #3 ranking in maylor!!!!