Lost Without You

Chapter 26: Uninvited Anxiety

The sky was clear as shell, small tickling air was playing with leaves, calling it a nice romantic atmosphere for couples, blessing for wheat cutters, a day out for teenager's, chance to have a nice cup of tea in open sky for elders and for loners a nice fresh.

It was Friday and weather was extremely beautiful and chilly. I returned back early from office, because it was the last day of week, and my leave started on-wards. My bestie is going to marry, and I've to attend it without any excuse and to miss any moment. I took leave for a whole one week. It was hard to convince sir but somehow managed. The wedding was suppose to arrange in Islamabad, because her Nano lives there and she can't travel. We had booked our tickets for tomorrow early morning and functions were to start the day after tomorrow.

Everything was packed, just the last time things were left open. Today weather was extremely lively and beautiful, that everyone were enjoying it. I stepped out in balcony, under sky, and heard a sudden thunder pass by making me to jump on my place. I was having a mood to eat pakoras and podine ki chutni in this weather. I tell Aayla and she refrained me to enter in kitchen, because she say-she's going to make it with expert touch and ushered me out.

It wasn't longer when the heavy clouds hide away the sky and slowly it started to rain. The droplets after droplets poured, drumming down the gloomy ground and on leaves while alongside playing with air and rythming its own music, that I mused in the beauty of nature, the utmost and admirable blessing. Today my mood was both sad and happy. It was a mixture of my silent feelings, controlled emotions, hidden tears, and muffled cries. Everything for just one person. And just one thought.

I miss you Aariz!

After long, I uttered those words, and they played and stayed longer on my tongue. My heart and mind always remembered it, but it felt more real saying it. And his name made my inside jittery.

It was our first six month Anniversary, and I missed him a little harder today. But, I didn't wanted to spoil this special day with my emotional sadness and agreed on spending it blissfully-reliving the old good times.

I sat on my room chair with my diary in my hands, as I were about to start writing. I let the balcony door open, allowing slow minty air to play with my hair locks. Starting from the last where, I last left with the help of book mark. I brought the pen near paper, and smoothly and musely started pouring my heart out in words.

I wrote from the start, where we met first time in jungle. A chuckle erupted out unbelievably at fate decisions. I never had thought that, I would end up here. But no doubt, I literally drooled over his chiselled perfection. He had a deep effect on my personality from the start.

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24th October - Six months since we're together.

I still remember you holding my gaze
Then after looking, look away avoiding while smiling.
Whenever I walk with my lashes downcast,
My lips quavered to tell you something.

I started writing, lost in my world which was playing between my words and old-Gold memories, as I focused more on my words to arrange them, like the way exact I was feeling-totally obvious with my surrounding. There was the time when we get to know each other in Hunza. It was beautiful and silent and simply pure. That we both felt but keep quite in hesitation and unsure.

Once I was living with your heart,
There was only you who had connection to my heartbeats.
There was never rest without seeing you,
Everyday your memories keep hunted me.
Your each smile straight touch my heart,
Your each one photo took my breath.
That's my craziness, how would I tell you.