Poetry-The Unspoken Words

Poem_12_Lost A Friend

We used to talk every single day

Spend hours texting till 3am,

We'd chat nonsense and play games,

Like truth or dare, all over again...

We used to walk together back from school,

Wander in silence or had too much to say,

We'd laugh at stuff we both understood,

Before waving hands and separating ways...

We used to cheat school work.

Then we'd talk and talk for hours straight,

I used to like it, until it got to that phase....

It was that game again,

It was never innocent.

It was your confession

That changed how things went.

You said you kinda loved me,

Then deleted the message.

Told me to forget everything,

And I didn't say much.

You continued acting normal,

But I got colder..

It wasn't like the usual;

I started drawing the border

Ignoring you was easy,

And I began not to care.

Thought only of my feelings,

And I wasn't at all fair.

You gave me your whole attention,

Never spoke of what you'd said,

And for some reason I couldn't mention

That this had been so mislead.

I left you on read,

Answered in brief words..

You never gave up on me,

And I thought you were absurd..

A heart and a winky face said it all,

You started pouring more of your soul.

I admit I smiled at your jokes,

But I knew there was something wrong.

You even opened up more,

I felt that you thought we were a thing.

Disdain was growing in my heart,

Did it come on its own or was it forced?

Maybe it was really you, I thought,

You brought it on yourself, you were the cause.

I even took a different path,

Just to avoid you,

Made you wait and I would laugh,

Still guilty for lying to you.

Day by day I lied more often,

The doors to my heart were closed on you,

Maybe better the truth would have been,

A simple explanation would have done it too.

I didn't understand my mind at all,

Why was I acting so brutal?

°°°

Wake up... And I awoke from my thoughts.

I'm in the present day, where my mind is unspoken.

You're moved on and have changed a lot.

It was all so fast, I didn't realise what happened.

Now all I can see is..

One moment you're depressed,

The second you are happy.

I do realise I was blessed,

Now wanting you to forgive me.

It was so frickin' sudden,

The chats were no longer,

Had I lost a special someone?

Never thought from this I would suffer...

Now I say hi,

You take long to reply,

Then you ask me 'why?'

Well, I was just giving a try.

I'm at a loss for words..

Dang, you were right..

I've experienced many kinds of hurt,

Never been through this type.

I hope this is temporary and it won't last forever,

Maybe we're just young and stupid teenagers..

But...

I miss your talks,

I miss your concerns,

When you asked what was wrong,

But I gave you no answer.

That I regret,

My coldness and dread,

Because until you left,

Had I reased what I had...

I should've just understood,

How hard it was for you..

Maybe it took forever until you could

Make it possible to write 'I love you'

Maybe you were stressed,

I know how you are,

But you still confessed,

I only added to the scars.

I took advantage of your kindness and much more,

Here I am now regretting it all.

Your stress is now mine,

Karma is a bitch...

I am now in a time

Where going back is my only wish.

But in reality, in the present day,

I don't say anything,

When there's a lot I can send,

I begin realizing,

I had lost a good friend...

~From the Heart