Second Chances

Chapter 13

My dad continued his story, from where he stopped. With tears in his eyes, he told me all I needed to know about my mum. He smiled a lot when he was remembering their happy moments.

Nick and I noticed he was getting tired when he couldn’t keep his eyes open, i told him to go to sleep and that we’ll continue that next day.  When he fell asleep, I kissed him on his forehead, something I never did.

When I got outside the room, i saw Drew and Carol sitting not too far, they looked up when they heard the door, I don’t know what they saw but Carol came up to me and hugged me.

“It’s going to be alright dear” She said patting my back.

Drew wiped my tears; I didn’t even know I was crying.

“Is it possible to miss someone you don’t know, someone you have never met” I continued talking to myself, I didn’t expect a reply.  “Just listening to him made me miss her and wish I had gotten to know her”

“She was a wonderful woman” Carol said “And she would have made an amazing mother to you as well”

“How do you know that?” I sniffed.

“I met her that day sweetie” she said sadly. “There was nothing they could do to save her”

“You’re the nurse he talked about, right?” I said “The one he asked to take care of me, I’m sorry he did that to you”

“Hey, it wasn’t your fault, don’t ever think that.” She pulled back to look at me “I fell in love with you the moment she put you in my arms and I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world.” She smiled. “I didn’t go for him; although I knew he would need all the help he can get……… I went there for you, she made me promise to watch over you, better to do it from the inside” she shrugged.

“See, you put your life on hold just to take care of me” I said “That was insensitive of him to do”

She just smiled at that and shook her head.

“Will you be okay?” she asked worried.

I felt another hand on my back; I realized it was Nick’s. I had totally forgotten he was there and he just saw me bawling my eyes out in an unattractive way.

I can’t believe I’m worried about that at a time like this.

“I’ll be alright Care” I said hugging her back “I promise”.

…………………………………………

I left Carol and Drew with dad, I went to my office with Nick following me keeping his distance and being silent all the way.

We’ve got inside and sat in silence; I guess he knows I need some time to think about everything. The whole thing kept playing in my head.

“You know it’s not your fault right?” he said breaking the silence...

“I don’t know what to think. I understand how much he loved my mum, but it still didn’t give him any reason to hate me the way he did.” I said to Nick.

“He said he didn’t hate you, just didn’t want you.” He said correcting me.

“What is the difference? You can’t love what you don’t want” I asked. “I loved him you know; I wanted to make him proud of me. I thought he wanted a boy and that I was a disappointment. I did everything I knew a boy would do just so I can an approval from him, but still, nothing”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me anything, if you don’t want to”

“When I was four, he married Carol because she was pregnant. She had a boy and told me to name him. I chose Andrew because it was my dad’s middle name, thinking he would be proud of me. When he came to the hospital, I saw a little bit of life in his eyes, I knew it was because of the baby. He still didn’t change towards me”

“I was 16 when he got me engaged to an asshole; I accepted the proposal because I wanted to please him, thinking that will make him care about me a little.”

“Ted abused me both physically and sexually. He would beat me up and then force himself on me all the time. Every breath I take in, the air transforms into nothingness, although he would later apologize and tell me he loved me” I continued “I couldn’t take it anymore, and one day, I fought back, he beat me till I blacked out. When I woke up, I was in the hospital, they told me my boyfriend brought me in, I didn’t want to see him but they let him in anyway. It turned out not to be Ted but Mason, he told me after the nurse left that he found me by the road side barely breathing, he didn’t even know me, he saved me. He stood by me till I was alright and also let my family know that I was ok. That’s how he came to be in my life. He was my knight, my guardian angel. I wanted to major in business like my dad, but I found out later that he didn’t care what happened to me. I switched to medicine, changed my name and took my mum’s maiden name, so I wouldn’t be known as a Killian”

“It took a while before I warmed up to the idea of caring for anyone other than my family; I always kept in touch with my brother and Carol because they are the family I have.  Mason and I started dating later on. We moved in together, but we didn’t have any intimate relationship until we had dated for a long time” I laughed.

“He was really patient with me and kind, when we were with his friends and they want to know about our sex life, he would just pull me close, kiss my forehead and tell them we had an amazing one while looking into my eyes. It made me fall for him, only for me to find out later that he is a liar. So after that, I  decided from that day to train my body and mind to convert every experience, every encounter, every observation into emptiness. But you, you managed to climb the wall I built around myself” I said looking into his eyes “I don’t know how or when you did tho”

“Yeah, I’m awesome like that” he grinned.

I smiled knowing what he was trying to do, didn't want to ask me outright how I really am.

“Thank you for being patient with me”

“And I’m sorry I pushed you” he apologized “I just wanted to know why you don’t trust easily”

I made my way to his side with him watching me wearily, I wanted to laugh at his expression but I controlled myself. I pulled him up (well, he stood up by himself) and I hugged him. He was surprised but it didn’t take long before he hugged me back.

We heard a knock and the door opened to reveal a grinning Tasha and Eric.

“Told you” Tasha said “Alright, pay up”

Nick and I watched as Eric pulled out 50 bucks and handed it to her.

“Why’d you ask him to pay up when you got here?” Nick asked confused.

“I told him we were going to find you guys together” she shrugged.

“You were betting on me?” I asked shocked.

“Us, they were betting on us” Nick said to me.

“That doesn’t make it ok” I said facing him, he only shrugged.
“You knew about this?” I asked him.

“Heard about it actually, it’s been going on a while, didn’t think it’ll take you this long to notice” he replied.

“See, I’m not the only one who’s doing it” she said sheepishly. “Eric and the others are too”

“I only did it because you suggested it” he said pointing to Tasha, who rolled her eyes at him and murmured "chicken"

“Well, I’m sorry I had other pressing matters on my mind” I said sarcastically. To Eric “What do you want?”

……………………………....

He had the guts to come talk to me about a conference that he hoped I would go to, after betting on me, the nerve.

Now I’m here, packing and preparing to travel to Australia for the said conference, with him. I sighed and picked my bag.

I made sure I got everything I was going to need, then went outside to get a taxi. As i made my way through traffic, my mind kept going back to one person I was going to miss, a lot. I got to the airport and made my way past security to sit before our flight was called, I saw someone I thought I won’t see for a while, sitting there reading and oblivious to what is going on around him.

“Nick?” I called surprised and he looked up from what he was reading. “What are you doing here?”